Why is The Black Cauldron so bad? A lot of real talent, it seems to me, went into that film, but it seems so rote and by-the-numbers, somehow, directionless, uncertain of what it wanted to be — almost as if The Company had said, “Well, some of our artists want to do a ‘high fantasy.’ I guess that Tolkein Celtic crap is big right now, but who can take this prophetic pig garbage seriously? Let’s throw in John Byner and some cute comedy fairies.”