tealin | Language

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Language

Earlier this week I had a conversation in which I used a colourful euphemism, and my conversee corrected me by supplanting it with the dull, blunt word it danced around. Now correct me if I’m wrong, but I had always assumed that everyone knows what euphemisms stand for, otherwise they wouldn’t get used, or would be called symbolism or something fancy like that. When someone says ‘kicked the bucket,’ you know they don’t mean that someone literally walked up to a bucket an kicked it, you know that they expired, passed away, bit the dust, bought the farm, or otherwise died. (Please forgive me such a morbid example; euphemisms for death spring most readily to mind as there are a nearly unlimited supply.) I was also reminded of a point made by Daniel Handler in the interview to be found on the Bad Beginning audio book, in regards to the large words and sophisticated idioms found in the Snicket books:

It is really no fun to say ‘my, what a big truck’ when you can say ‘my, what a corpulent truck.’ The English language is filled with so many marvellous words that it seems a shame not to use the good ones. For instance, to say ‘the English language is filled with good words’ is not nearly as much fun as saying ‘the English language is filled with marvellous words.’ So I think Mr Snicket, like any author worth his salt, likes to use expressions like ‘worth his salt,’ rather than ‘like any author who is good.’

So, in the somewhat snarky spirit of clarity and straightforwardness, I now bring you the first in what might possibly be a series of ‘Cut the Crap and Get To It!’

The original:

What a piece of work is man! How noble in reason! how infinite in faculties! in form and moving, how express and admirable! in action how like an angel! in apprehension, how like a god! the beauty of the world! the paragon of animals! And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust? Man delights not me; no, nor woman neither, though by your smiling you seem to say so.

And the honest truth:

Man is really something. Being smart makes him good. He can do a lot of things. The shape he is and the way he moves is good. Whether doing something or not, he’s impressive, good-looking, and better than the other animals. But what is this thing to me? Man doesn’t make me happy – and girls don’t either, you perverts.

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I absolutely love euphamisms in everyday language. Just thought I'd add that in before I get to the real comment, which goes a little something like this:

This is great! Will there be more of them? So many euphamisms that I didn't even notice! Skim reading is not a good idea...like "and girls don't either, you perverts". BWA HA HA! I wouldn't have realised he was saying that at all. Yayness!

Where is the original paragraph from? I know I've heard it quoted many times before, it's on the tip of my tongue...

It's from Hamlet – to be totally honest I am only familiar enough with it to have remembered which paragraph I wanted because of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead.

Well that shows how far my memory spans.

I wish I could see Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead. I've heard far too much about it to not be intrigued.

It is fun. Gary Oldman is fantastic.

Yes he is! Better than in Harry Potter!

I think the original is from Hamlet, correct? The fellow in need of Prozac is Hamlet, and the perverts are Rosencrantz and Guildenstern.

My personal favorite euphemism (actually also from Hamlet) is "I could tell you such things, that would make your eyes, like stars, start from their spheres, and your hair stand upon its end like quills upon the fretful porpentine." It's so much better than "I went to purgatory and it's scary," especially since so many authors (including Pratchett) love to parody it.

*I don't have it in front of me, so that might not be right.

It becomes:
I could tell you a story that would make you freak out.

I like your take on the Ancient Mariner! Watch Coleridge spin!

She doesn't quite go on about all the bell stuff, though...

'We are all connected to each other – and you're gonna die.'

Hahahahahaha. Win! Please say there will be more of these. ={D

I think some people correct others when they use euphemisms out of a sense of overcoming-prudery -- ie, I always get annoyed when people say "he passed" instead of actually facing the idea that someone has died. Others use it to get a rise out of people -- replying to "they had a romantic interlude" with "you mean they fucked?" is a way of getting a rise out of people.

I don't think it's really, underneath, done out of any sort of motivation to kill the beauty or expressiveness of the English language -- rather, it's a social statement that screams "I'm not afraid to face death, sex, and other distasteful things" (methinks those who use it do protest too much).

Although it sounds like I'm making excuses for it, I'm actually on your side -- I believe that expression and euphemism has its place. I'm just....navel-gazing about why people sometimes do that, I guess. :)

Oh, your reasons listed for killing the poetry of language are perfectly valid, and I'm sure at least one of them applied to that conversation, but it just got me thinking, is all...

I agree that they protest too much- such screaming speaks of the desire to make polite society crude and blunt (for example, "go to the bathroom" is a euphamism, and it is not at all preferable that one declare instead exactly what one means to do in there). And if people think it is wrong to be hypocritical by, say, using delicate terms to describe an affair one is having, perhaps they would be better occupied worrying about how wrong it is to have an affair.

My very favourite term used to excuse oneself to the water closet is 'I need to go to the euphemism.'

HAHAHAHAHAHA!
---DisneyBoy

*giggle* Three cheers for Mr. Handler, there!
I'm a big fan of euphemism and implication, perhaps more so than I should be, but oh well. :)
It's fun to have fifty different ways to express one idea (especially if they are creatively worded), and I love handing people a few sketchy details and letting their own perverted brains fill in the details. Makes it harder to pin on me, for one thing. :D

You assume that everyone has perverted minds.

...well, okay, that's probably true :D Imagination can definitely be a powerful too, though; good examples being all those horror films where the monster/serial killer is incredibly creepy and chilling until you actually get a good look at them and see that they're just made out of goo. Or that their mask is real cheap-looking and they have a paunch.

Besides, where would the world be without the crude-yet-sophisticated fun that is innuendo? ;)

Hahaha. Such a shame, to be someone who thinks in The Honest Truth, rather than using the glorious cornucopia of vocabulary that is English.

That's fantastic.

"Really something" is still somewhat of a. . . colloquialism?

Yes it is, but at the same time, a simpler way of saying 'piece of work' is 'thing,' and the 'what a' implies astonishment, so I just took that and went completely flatly colloquial with it. : )

I love writers who play with language, especially when they are "punes, or plays on words". (Three cheers for Pratchett and Snickett!)
Plus, it is interesting to look at idioms because they can be so bizarre.

A day without puns is like a day without sunshine.
.
.
.

There's always gloom for improvement.

A²

As the Bright said when she married the Gloom...

Or the three words the Bride was thinking as she entered the church . . .

Aisle, altar, hymn

A²

Being smart makes him good.

*ded*

*but still howling*

Language -- whatever degree -- is one of the great joys of life.

I'm sorry but Brokeback Mountain is an amazing FILM!!!!

Um ... ?

That's what my fellow English majors would call a non-sequitur.

~DarthDylanBlue (can't login for some reason... don't know what that's about)

No kidding.

And not nearly as funny as the comic strip of the same name... : )

No no no, you're thinking of the transvestite cowboy movie. : )

What? C'mon, they cut out the finale with the crossdressing bulls and buffalo (no, I am not kidding - Eisner thought it would be funny, since hula-dancing Timon went over so well). Oh wait - I forgot about the guy who was dressed up as a saloon girl (although he used to have more lines)...Ok, never mind, I guess you're right.
---DisneyBoy

OMG

And people wonder why the films are not doing as well as they thought. I REALLY hope that if Disney DOES buy Pixar that the method of creating stories migrates from Pixar to Disney and not the reverse.

A²

[tries not to think about the Grand Trunk Comapny]

Cross dressing has long been used as a source for comedy; Timon wasn't the first. It just has to have the right context (like Panto) or be a plot point (Blackadder's 'Georgina') or ... well, be funny.

Huzzah for the phantasmagorical wonders of the English Language!

'Phantasmagorical' is one of my favourite words. It's a shame I don't get to use it more often.

That speech is also from the very end of Withnail and I!

Every word dripping with sarcasm and bitterness... London rain... and the wrenching twist of the euphemism of the whole film. God bless Richard E Grant.

Words are beautiful, but in this day and age they are left to decompose in the gutter of human consciousness. We should all arm ourselves with dictionaries and wage bloody war on the ignorami.

my favorite condensation and sum up to shakespeare is from the reduced shakespeare company...to sum up what ophelia really feels:

"Look, cut the crap, Hamlet! My biological clock is ticking and I want babies NOW!"

I just wanted to say Amen to all the sentiments decrying the waste of the wealth of words and expressions available to English-speakers. Yes, there are times when direct, abbreviated, unadorned communication is expedient (life-or-death emergencies, etc.), and obviously blunt, crude expressions can occasionally be highly amusing (your "translation" of Shakespeare is a riot - I want to see more of these!), but I see a growing tendency towards laziness (as well as crassness) in this country's everyday use of language (overusing a few words, using the wrong words, etc.) pervading too many age groups, social strata, educational levels, etc., to the point where many people who consider themselves intellectually and culturally enlightened or sophisticated become dependent on the same limited vocabulary and references I'd associate with (insert politically incorrect, socially backward stereotype here). It really makes me sad, and since English is a living, evolving (or devolving) language, I can't help foreseeing the death of many wonderful, colorful words, expressions, colloquialisms, euphemisms, etc. for want of use. Thus will our language gradually be reduced to fewer and fewer short, simple, imprecise, clumsy, ugly "catch-alls" that insufficiently substitute for a multitude of beautiful, creative, and subtly diverse sentiments; we will not only lose superfluous, outdated verbiage and euphemisms, but much of the clarity, beauty, history, culture, and poetry heretofore preserved in and by the English language will be further misunderstood, diluted, distorted, and forgotten. Think I'm being a melodramatic blowhard? Well, it wouldn't be possible without a big vocabulary! So nyeah nyeah nyeah pooheads.
---DisneyBoy
(Once again, I have used WAY too many words to say the same thing, not very clearly, over and over again - I'm afraid I'm not helping your cause here, but am an argument against reckless excessive verbosity! So maybe you should do yourself a favor and not actually post this - I seriously would be OK with that. Or maybe you could rephrase it in a way that wouldn't bore your loyal readers to tears. I'm too lazy ;))

Haha, I unscreened it anyway, because it was brilliant.

"Ankh-Morpork purred through the night, en route for the dawn, like a huge living creature although, of course, this was only a metaphor." -Reaper Man, pg 41

I read that last night and immediately thought of your Hamlet Abridged! :D

Who is this fiend?? I pray it is not I.

For I say dumb stuff all the time and I fear the odds are against me!

Oh goodness no, not you. Not you!

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Language

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HAHAHA!

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Puns

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Brokeback Mountain

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Homo deranged?

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Life imitates Art

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reduced shakespeare

The (Brain) Death of the English Language

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