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This seems to have become a dream journal now ... Only it's so infrequently I remember them that I don't keep a real dream journal anymore, and I feel the few I can hold onto warrant recognition, somehow.

The premise of this dream was that I was setting off on another sailing trip with the Jubilee Sailing Trust, the organisation with which I did my hands-on research on tall ship sailing for Vol.1 of Worst Journey. I got to the ship on time, and some of the first part of the dream was settling in, chatting with some of the NPCs I was going to sail with, etc. At some point the 1st Officer came to the mess and joined the chat. It was forecast to be quite stormy that night so I asked if this was indeed a "beginner" trip and not "intermediate" as I'd only done one before and hardly had experience with choppy water, nevermind a storm. She said it would be fine. I also asked her when we were going to set off, and she said about 3a.m. – something about the tide, I think. It was, at that time, around 7p.m., so this was good news because it gave me the chance to pick up a few things from my flat(? friend's flat? Air B&B?). It was not a short distance away and I needed time to get there and back on the bus. The things I needed to pick up were:
- my enamel mug, which somehow I was without
- some small but important thing like my wallet or phone or something, or maybe I'd forgotten to turn something off
- clothes, which I had completely forgotten to pack

I'm sure this is mostly a travel anxiety dream – I will be travelling later in January, and now that we're past Christmas it's on the horizon. I have to say that going on a tall ship is a lot more interesting than the usual "can I get to the airport in time" paradigm, and while I've had a few dreams that I've forgotten to pack and have to throw things in a suitcase at the last minute, I've never dreamt I've arrived at my destination without having the essentials. As I sat down to write this, I think I've figured out why it was a ship: my January trip is to Madeira, which was the Terra Nova's first stop out from Britain in 1910; obviously a sailing ship is how one gets to Madeira (though I don't think that's where I was going in the dream). I don't know why the flat I had to get back to was just off Lonsdale Quay, though. Many of my bus dreams still take place in Vancouver, where I did most of my bus riding, but that location hardly features, I suppose because one rarely encounters difficulties there. Oh well, the subconscious wouldn't be half so much fun if it weren't a mystery ...

I've been burnt out for a long time. I am not good at task-switching, and that is practically all I've done since finishing colour on Vol.1 back in November 2021. It's a huge drain of mental energy; I can supplement that with willpower, but that is finite as well. When I'm running low on all my reserves I just want to lie in bed and listen to radio documentaries but things still have to get done. Lots of things. All the time. Some quite urgently. And never anything that gives back.

I may be exhausted but at least I can't argue with the general shape of my life, with which I am still well pleased. But the last few weeks have been a drag: first The Shed, then neighbours having my trees whacked; plus I've been shuttling to Scotland and Norfolk and Lancashire. I enjoy travelling, but it is really the epitome of task-switching, and I've come back from each trip drained rather than recharged.

Last night, for the first time in a while, I experienced that familiar feeling of my brain not being able to shut off. Just chatter, chatter, chatter, all the time. Even my habitual barely-audible-Radio-3 didn't help. I've discovered this as a sleep aid in recent months: turn it down just low enough that you have to concentrate to listen, and it's like someone holding your frantic attention's hand, allowing you that little bit of stability to relax and fall asleep. But no, the chatter was sufficient to drown out the peaceful murmuring.

And what did I dream about? Sheds? Neighbours? Workload? Travel? No, I dreamt I had the chance to go back to McMurdo again. It was different, but the same; the main difference was not Covid precautions but that they were being careful about the food, which for some reason was low. I reflected on the benefit of middle age lowering my appetite to practically nothing. My old supervisor was there too, despite having left the USAP; I didn't see her, though, because she was receiving a new batch of AAWs who were arriving on one of two C-17s that day – someone had written a note on the flight listings: "Wow, two flights, so proud!" as if to suggest there were supposed to be two flights a day but this was rarely achieved.

Whatever my subconscious is doing, it doesn't appear to be pulling its weight ...

Current Mood: bleh
Current Music: The Dead South

I've just started a new hormone therapy (see previous posts about Feminine Issues) and to my great surprise, I've started having dreams again that are not mind-numbingly tedious everyday frustrations, but the sort of nutty things one is supposed to encounter in Dreamworld. And I'm remembering them, which I've only managed to do a few times a year for the last decade or so ... though this may be because in the brief instant I've remembered my dream upon waking up, it's been so boring that I immediately erased it.

In the last week, I've dreamt that someone clumsily tried to pickpocket me in the queue at a National Trust property, and I dragged him to the counter of what my waking mind can only describe as the National Trust Police. They were some sort of unified security service across the whole of the NT, but apparently staffed mainly by women in their 50s. The pickpocket was quite an attractive man, actually, in a greying kind of way, but that was no excuse for crimes.

I also dreamt that I had been part of a study whose first part involved installing an app on my phone, and whose second part was some kind of in-person medical test. When I arrived for the latter, it became rapidly clear that it was not just science but mad science, the kind that involves strapping one to a chair and very Weimar-looking contraptions. I flipped out, demanded the app to be uninstalled, and with some difficulty made my escape. Weirdly, getting them to take the app off my phone was harder than evading them physically. The app was called "Monster"; it didn't look exactly like the energy drink logo but it did have the same colour scheme. As soon as I woke up I knew this had been a dream, but I was still super paranoid about digital privacy for a few days after. I would never ever install the kind of app this was in the full light of day, but even so ...

I used to have such mad dreams when I was a teenager. It's nice to have them back again. And, bizarrely, given I have had quite an anxious lead-up to my current trip to Denmark, I have had no travel anxiety dreams at all.

Current Location: Viborg

I think there is probably some sort of theological understanding to be gained in the exercise of shooing a wasp out an open window.

It's sad. It's angry. It's distressed. It doesn't want to be there. It keeps trying, resolutely, to fly out the closed side of the window. Its inability to do so makes it angrier. You take a safe implement and try to coax it toward the open side, and this interference makes it all the more resolute to get out the closed side. Its wrath is palpable: Stop hasslin' me with yer &"^"%£%! piece of junk mail! I'm tryna get outta here! Yes, I want you out, too. Out is this way. Come on, I don't want to hurt you. $*£& off ya *$£&ing &£^£$"**! Please just let me show you where the window is open. I can see where it's &^*^%* open! It's right £&*$£ here, ^"!%!&£% it! Then you finally get it there, or resort to trapping it under a cup, and it flies off like Sheesh, about time!

Brought to you by an old house full of cracks which is irresistible to wasps for about four weeks every spring.

I got a bit obsessed with this video when I saw it, I think, in early 2017 – not only did it encapsulate so much of what 2016 felt like (especially in the UK) but it's just so well made. The writing, obviously, the acting, but also the editing is really super tight, the timing is perfect, and the jump-cuts to indicate passage of time, if they were even a few frames off they would fall flat, but they're just, unh.

Anyway, it has the least searchable title of all time, so I'm putting it here in order not to lose it again.

2016

A 2023 Mood:

16:53:22 - Yay, Twitter is down! I'm going to be so productive!
16:53:23 - Oh no, where do I make a short pithy post to express my joy about how productive I'm going to be?

Current Location: 1911 (mostly)
Current Music: The Dreadnoughts, "Hej Sokoły"

I completely forget that I have 'what song is this?' turned on on my phone until suddenly, once or twice a year, completely by surprise, I look at it and there's the name of the music on the screen. This, I think, says it all about my media consumption and, shall we say, esoteric tastes. Usually it happens in a grocery store, or somewhere else playing popular music without much background noise, but very occasionally it happens at home: today it told me I was listening to the Oh Hellos. I knew this, because I had deliberately put them on, but it was still a little startling.

The Oh Hellos were recommended to me years ago when I took to Twitter in anguish over being unable to place a particular song I had frequently heard at Pret à Manger, then hadn't heard for a long time, and then, maddeningly, heard again. Usually when I hear a song I like, I try to jot down a few lyrics so I can look it up when I get home, but this one defied me: the verses were sung too softly to hear in a café (the only place I ever heard it), and the chorus was just 'Ahhh-ah-ah's so was inherently un-Googleable.

Every so often I would try describing it to someone who knew music, which is how I learned it wasn't 'Home' by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes, or any music from Where the Wild Things Are, despite having a similar plinky 2010s-hipster sound. I tried 'ahh'ing the tune into a music recognition app to no success. I wrote to Pret HQ about it. I asked the baristas at that location. No dice. Then one dramatic morning I heard it again and dashed to the counter to demand what was playing, while the friend I was with approached one of the Young People alarmed by my departure, and he managed to get his music-recognition app to pick it up. When I returned, then, I finally learned that it was 'Nowhere to Go' by Hurricane Love, a tiny Swedish band whose success seemed to extend only to getting this one song on a Pret playlist.

Satisfaction.

Anyway, rewinding a bit: Before this revelation, I would periodically take to Twitter to try to crowdsource a resolution to my anguish. Once, someone listed some bands I'd never heard of, one of which was The Oh Hellos. I looked them up on Bandcamp, and they did really, really sound like the mystery song: plinky hispters of the finest vintage. I went through song after song and none of them pinged my neurons, but ... I really liked them. It's not often I come across a band (or musician) I really like, but when I do, I go deep, and I was over the moon to find some new albums to put on eternal shuffle/repeat.

This was back in 2018 or so, so very old news. The reason I'm posting about it now is because I've just sat down to some text-based work, and needed to put on something I knew so well I wouldn't be distracted by the lyrics. It had been a while since I'd given the Oh Hellos a spin, so I threw them on a playlist, and suddenly it was 2018 again and I was newly appreciating just how much of a vibe these songs are.

So, because this is my blog and I can inflict my music on you if I want to, here are a few of my favourites:

A song which I didn't realise was about The Terror until I listened to it after watching The Terror: Eat You Alive (It's not actually about The Terror, it's just perfect by accident. I'm sure they didn't mean it literally.)

They made a whole album about abusive relationships (and getting out of them), called Dear Wormwood. Bitter Water is a jam all the way through, but the mini-bridge and internal rhymes of bury me beneath the tree I climbed when I was a child is just ... [chef's kiss]

A folk rock cover of 'Danse Macabre'? Sure, why not.

And the song that makes direct eye contact with my deepest darkest soul and doesn't look away until it's stared me all the way down: In Memoriam. If you're doing all the leaving, then it's never your love lost – and if you leave before the start, then there was never love at all ... ouch. Ouch ouch.

So much music, including some of my favourite bands, have gone all 80s-synthy in recent years. I so loved the music that came out in the early 2000s, going for that jangly acoustic sound; for the first time in my life I actually kept my ears pricked for tunes I liked, rather than stuffing them against unpleasantness. Now we're back to overproduced fluff again, it seems. If you know of any more in the plinky-hipster vein, do please send them my way, especially obscure Scandi outfits or crypto-Christian neo-bluegrass ...

Current Music: see below

I cannot multitask.

I know this about myself.

And yet, over and over again, like some sort of mythological figure, I throw a Bake From Frozen pain au chocolat in the oven 'while I answer a few emails.'

I sure hope someone, somewhere, learns an important lesson from this, because I don't seem to be able to.

Update: 8:56p.m.

You'll never guess who just burnt an entire packet of sausages into little meaty cinder logs!

Seriously, just ban me from the oven now.

Current Music: Radio 3

The time has come ... (the walrus said)

I am hard at work putting together the supporting documents for my application for Indefinite Leave to Remain, i.e. permanent residency in the UK. The requirements are pretty straightforward – prove you are stable and self-sufficient financially, that you've had a continuous residence in the UK, that (in my case) you are still related to the people who qualified you for the visa you're on, and that you haven't been out of the UK for more than 180 days in any 12-month period.

The last couple of days, I've been working on the first: gathering bank statements, contracts, and invoices for the last few years, scanning what was on paper, naming and filing them in what I hope is an organised way. Today I collected and scanned boarding passes from the last few flights I've taken, where I haven't got a physical stamp in my passport, to back up my days of absence.* Since I was then in Travel Zone, I figured I might as well update the UK Absences chart I'd submitted with my 2018 visa extension application. With the pandemic between then and now, this is not an abundantly long document, but it does include my trip to Antarctica, which all told ended up being nearly two months out of the UK.

And that's when I started to get worried.

Because, you see, that was a Big Number. And not very far up the list there was another Big Number, from the first time I went to New Zealand, part of a Christmas voyage in 2017-18. Two big numbers so close to each other, and numbers between were not so big but were big enough to add up in a big way, and what had I done? How could I have miscalculated? I had been so careful not to be away too much but this seemed like a really, really big oversight. Starting to shake, I totted up the days of absence, and got 152. That was good, right? It was 180 days in a 12-month period, not 140 days, right? I checked. It was. Whew. Just under the wire. I should watch these things more closely, don't want another scare like that.

After I caught my breath a little, and looked back at the chart, I saw that I'd left for the first New Zealand trip in December 2017, and didn't leave on the Antarctic trip until October 2019, so the two trips were never in the same 12-month period at all. The 152 days had been over 24 months, not 12.

And this is why being bad with numbers is bad for the health: because basic innumeracy might possibly give one a heart attack someday.

*The e-Gates are supposed to file your entry in some sort of database where they're associated with your passport, but do we trust this database to be accurate and/or fully accessible when the Home Office might use it as grounds to expel us? No we do not. So we try to get a stamp. Border guards are getting increasingly tetchy about stamping one's passport when one is eligible to use the e-Gates, however. I got such a ticking off when I insisted on getting a stamp on my way back from teaching in Denmark this March. By contrast, both Denmark and Switzerland – very organised and technologically advanced countries – insist on stamping one's passport, almost as if they are aware of the fallibility of technology.

Months of silence, and I come back to post about dreams again, sorry ...

It's very uncommon for me to dream about people I know in real life. Sometimes there are recurring characters, but generally everyone is an NPC. When people I do know turn up in my dreams, they're completely random – good friends and family get equal screen time with people I met once or twice ten years ago. No matter how obsessed I am with a book or film, it won't infiltrate my subconscious – with the baffling exception of The Great Escape which monopolised my dreamspace for three solid months when I was 14. I liked the film a lot but have only seen it once, in large part because I'm afraid of what will happen if I watch it again.

I bring this up because I've just come back from a long trip reconnecting with friends and family in North America. They're exactly the sort of valued, close connections I can generally count on not seeing when I'm asleep, but they've turned up nearly every night, and, contrary to the great time I had with them in person, have been acting like complete jerks. Is this a thing in dreams? Does it mean something? Is it just a trick of jetlag, and/or crankiness from my sore back expressing itself emotionally? It's been a consistent running theme, and I'm not sure what to make of it.

I am no stranger to the anxiety dream. Usually these start a month or two before I'm due to travel somewhere, and involve losing an important item or not getting to the airport on time. I've been having a certain amount of real-life travel anxiety lately, around getting (or not?) a work visa for my usual teaching gig in Denmark. I don't know if this is too advanced for my lizard brain to process, or if it just doesn't know how to translate vague bureaucratic uncertainty into something to panic over, but somehow the usual airport anxiety has been translated into ... bus anxiety. Falling asleep and missing my stop. Missing my stop, getting off at the next one and crossing the street to catch the bus back the other way, but there are no buses going the other way. Not realising how close my stop is and having to scramble to gather up more stuff than I could possibly have carried aboard, and not having sufficient bag or arm capacity for it all. Usually this takes place in Vancouver, I suppose because that's where I took the most buses.

Last night, the usual bus problems were compounded by a trip back to my old houseshare in Cambridge, where I was supposedly still paying rent for my room even though I didn't live there, and discovered a great pile of mail for me on the counter – mostly junk, but a few returned envelopes and a some other things of interest. I had to sort through it while Troublesome Housemate hovered awkwardly behind me, and the sound of very young and raucous undergrads bounced around the house. And then it was back on the bus for another misadventure.

What is it like to have fun fantasy dreams that throw crazy stuff at you, instead of the most tedious or uncomfortable aspects of waking life? I feel like I'm missing out here ...

It's been just over seventeen years since I first signed up to LiveJournal. Shortly after, I learned how to embed images from a third-party hosting site. Photobucket served me well for years, but in recent times it's got a lot more difficult – you may have noticed the watermark on the wallpaper if you visit my blog proper – and now that I've finally had the time to go through and pull down all the images I want to keep, I'm shutting my Photobucket account for good.

This isn't going to make a massive difference for new posts here – I've been 'hosting' new blog pics on Tumblr since 2012 – but the archive will cease to be illustrated. Gradually I'm putting my library up on Ko-Fi, but it's going to take a while, as it's just about the lowest priority thing on my plate these days. Someday Tumblr will bite the dust. Hopefully by then no one will want to see my old scrawlings. Fanart is so much better these days anyway. Let the kids take over, they're all right.

I've had to pay a bit just to access my Photobucket account to get the stuff off, so it'll remain up until the end of the month. If there's something you particularly want to save, go find it now and do so. Remember February is only 28 days.

Thanks for the memories!

I finished colouring my graphic novel on Monday, so for the foreseeable future I'll be doing the sort of work that can't divide attention with radio. Alas! I sure got in a lot of it towards the end, though.

FACTUAL
You're Dead To Me - Would you look at that, even MORE episodes of this excellent and very imbibable history podcast. New subjects include a Chinese pirate queen, ice cream, and the extraordinarily interesting life of the man who sang "Old Man River."
The Divided Brain - An examination of the role our left and right brains play in our decision making, personalities, and how we interact with the world. Neuroscientist Iain McGilchrist argues that the world has become excessively left-brain dominated and we need to restore the balance before it's too late.
In Our Time: Plato's Gorgias - A panel of experts discuss a seminal philosophical work examining power vs morality, the nature of freedom, the relationship between pleasure and self interest, and whether rhetoric holds outsized sway over politics.
Tupac Shakur, Hip Hop Immortal - I was in middle school when Tupac Shakur died, and while I was aware he was a big deal, I was utterly clueless about him. If you also wondered what the big deal was, this short documentary might help you out a bit, as it did me.
Things Fell Apart - The strapline is "Tales from the Culture Wars"; TBH I've only caught snippets on the actual radio, but they've been very good, so this is listed in order to remind me to catch up and listen properly.
Exploding Library: Jean Rhys - I had to read Wide Sargasso Sea in high school and have to admit I didn't 'get it', but I definitely god comedian Josie Long's portrait of the author and her less famous, but possibly more personal book, Good Morning, Midnight. Fun! Educational! Enthusiastic!

FICTIONAL
Fantastic Journeys - Four short stories that fall somewhere in the fantasy/scifi/magical realism spectrum, but otherwise very different from each other. I link "The Green Door" by H.G. Wells every time it comes around, but the others are also quite good and worth a listen.
Small Gods - Radio adaptation of Terry Pratchett's magnificent comic drama about religion, philosophy, and an unwelcome revelation in a desert theocracy...
Resurrection - On the surface, this Tolstoy is your typical "nobleman deflowers vulnerable maid who goes on to a life of vice, nobleman grows up and tries to make good" story, but mostly it's Tolstoy taking a good hard look at what was wrong with mid-19thC Russian society, a lot of which is sadly still relevant.
The Strange and the Sinister - Short horror stories by someone trying for, and not quite reaching, M.R. James, but they're quite good on their own terms.

FUNNY
Penguin Diplomacy - I linked to Double Acts last time, but last week's episode is the one about a stuffy Brit and an eccentric Dane and the marital habits of penguins on Skarstenø (or is it Goodwill Island?). Sometimes I wonder if this episode was a personal gift.
I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue - The daftest of panel games is back for another glorious 28 minutes.
Here's What We Do - Another Double Act. A silly heist and some character development, which is all very well on its own, but this one gets bonus points for taking place partly in my favourite Cambridge pub.

FACTUAL
The Battersea Poltergeist - This series about a 1950s haunting first aired earlier this year, but if you want a good spooky Halloween listen, you can't do much better. It's a mix of dramatic reconstruction and investigation, and leans to the dramatic, but as infotainment it's very well done.
Uncanny - A followup to the above, investigating more supernatural and surreal goings-on, as reported by listeners. Good spooky fun.
Ten Days That Shook The World - The memoir of an American journalist who was in St Petersburg when the Revolution reached a turning point, with the Bolsheviks hanging on to power by a fingernail. I must admit I found it a bit hard to follow while working, but there are some good moments, and it's an interesting period I know little about. There are only 8 eps left available, but as it's so fragmentary I don't think that really matters much.
Citizens - Simon Schama's massive history of the French Revolution has been my primary listening for the last week. It's fascinating – I'm learning loads of things I can't believe aren't talked about more – but alas it's not read by Schama himself, and sounds like it was ripped from a scratched CD sometimes. Nevertheless, interesting, and surprisingly timely ...
You're Dead To Me - There's a new series of this very engaging history podcast! The link takes you to the Fairy Tales episode, but several more follow.
Bad People - The podcast series about criminal psychology is back, with its very listenable mix of expert information and dark humour.
A Geochemical History of the World - Haven't listened yet, but it charts the evolution of Earth's atmosphere and the changes that have happened over geological history, promises to be very good.
Green Inc - A surprisingly entertaining look at the "green" industry, and how capitalism is (and isn't, really, when you get right down to it) moving with the times re: environmentalism.
A History of Ghosts - Looking at ghost lore down the ages and around the world
The Food Programme: Livestock and Carbon - Some innovative – or, arguably, regressive – farmers are angry at the simplistic way livestock production is seen as blanket evil in the green debate. When managed in traditional ways, livestock and arable land can have a net positive impact on the environment, and feed humanity more healthily.
Four Thought: The Tyranny of Positivity - Ever have one of those moments where you turn on the radio and want to leap and cheer at every new sentence, but you don't because then you might miss the next sentence? That was this for me – a devastatingly intelligent takedown of the cult of the Positive Attitude.

FICTIONAL
The Destruction Factor - A genetically engineered plant is somehow causing incredibly ferocious fires. It's corny sci-fi, but fun, and achieves the apparently lost art of "just when you think it couldn't get any worse ..."
The Haunting of M.R. James - Mark Gatiss presents short dramatisations of five spooky ghost stories from the Cambridge medievalist.
The Penny Dreadfuls' Guy Fawkes - What I love most about this comic retelling of the Guy Fawkes story is how it sneaks up and grabs you in the feels, without breaking character.

FUNNY
On The Hour - Only two episodes remain of this infrequent rerun of the classic send-up of The News, but they're always worth a listen, even in reduced quantity.
The Horne Section - The kids' show for adults (as I like to think of it) is an uplifting and refreshing antidote to all the effluent in the news.
Small Scenes - Somehow I'd not come across this sketch show before – it ditches the studio audience for atmos, but remains funny, and has some quite good people in it.
Double Acts - This blog has a 100% John Finnemore policy – if any of his work gets broadcast, it WILL be linked here – and this rerun of Series 2 of his droll two-character comedy dramas is no exception. Featuring a guest appearance by my favourite pub in Cambridge.
Citizen of Nowhere - Deliso Chaponda talks humourously, frankly, and deeply about issues. This sounds terribly worthy but it has been a highlight of the 6:30 comedy slot for me these past few weeks and I highly recommend writing yourself a superior blurb.

Every year I come around to do taxes again, and every year I encounter another surprising way in which one of my American banks flails at basic functionality. Past adventures include Inability To Get Wire Transfer Info Correct Despite My Spelling It Out For Them, ItGWTICDMSIOFT II: Déjà Vu, and Seriously: The Bit You Had Wrong Was Not The Tricksy Address But The Simple 5-Digit Zip Code?

This year, we've so far had the online banking website overload my RAM and crash my browser – two different browsers – and a two-factor authentication code email saying 'We will NEVER ask for this code!' despite only getting the code sent to me because they are literally asking for it.

They're actually not that bad a financial institution for day-to-day banking on their own turf: If I were buying a house, or saving for my kids' college tuition, or whatever else it is normal people do with their banks, the services they offer are competent and comprehensive. They just fall to pieces outside of their comfort zone, especially in the unimaginable circumstance that one of their customers lives abroad.

I would close my account there, except that I need a card with a US address to file my US tax return (despite being officially, legally, an expat) and theirs is the only card in my collection that has a US address (my parents'). Or at least it would, if they had sent me a new card when my last one expired. So I have to chase them up for a replacement, which I can only do by long-distance phone, from 9-5, five hours behind me, or via the chat function, which seems to be staffed by one overworked person on a coffee break ...

As you may have gathered from the lack of posts, things are a bit busy around here. Luckily, in the last couple of weeks, they've been busy in a "listening to lots of radio" kind of way. So here are some programmes that have caught in the baleen of my brain, or which I intend to sift this week:

FACTUAL
In Our Time: Animal Farm - Experts discuss George Orwell's Stalinist satire-cum-cautionary tale; best paired with the reading linked below, but whether as an apertif or a chaser is up to you.

FICTIONAL
Animal Farm - A full unabridged reading of George Orwell's Stalinist satire-cum-cautionary tale.
The Great Scott - Astonishingly, not that Scott, the other one. Radio 4 undertook to dramatise his oeuvre, slimming down each tome to fit in an hour slot. In some cases, the adaptations are a bit "free", but I've trusted all the names on the writing team for years now and they do at least deliver an intelligible radio drama. Very much the cheater's guide to Sir Walter, but I don't see myself doing it the hard way anytime soon ...
Nuremberg - A massive dramatisation of the effort to bring to justice the architects and the footsoldiers of the Holocaust.

FUNNY
Andy Hamilton Sort of Remembers - The comedy memoir of one of the first voices I learned to recognise on Radio 4, most famous (to me, anyway) as Satan in Old Harry's Game (which he also wrote).
Paul Sinha's General Knowledge - If you like trivia, or unexpected connections between things, or finding out that what you think you know isn't the way it is at all, this is a thoroughly enjoyable half hour.
The Hudson and Pepperdine Show - It's not often you get a female double act leading a Radio 4 comedy, so drink up.
Radio 9 - The first series of Radio 9 had me in stitches, but they only ever seem to repeat the second series, which is a bit more twisted. Even so.
The Pin - Bite-sized sketch comedy
Mark Watson Makes The World Substantially Better - Each episode, a different virtue is considered comedically. Wholesome and musical standup.
The Museum of Everything - Don't forget to visit the GIFT SHOP [heavenly chorus] I can't think what separates it from so many other sketch shows, but an inordinate number of catchphrases and running gags from this show have entered my reference library.
John Finnemore's Souvenir Programme - No stranger to this lineup, but two special reasons for including it again:
1. No less than seventeen episodes are currently available! So much happiness!
2. Series 9. Give it time.

FRANÇAIS
Efter fire år lærende dansk, j'ai retournée à la français, en gros part parce que j'en aurai besoin bientôt. Mon français est assez mal que je ne comprends pas beaucoup en parle, mais c'est assez bon pour m'ennuie si le sujet n'est pas interressant. Alors, pour improver mon comprension, j'écoute à Aujourd'hui l'histoire, un balado de Radio-Canada – trentaine minutes, chaque jour, sur plusieurs sujets d'histoire; toujours different, toujours interressant, toujours en français, et facile à entendre. Je veux les comprendre, ça m'encourage!

Maia granted an audience to the Count Bazhevel and Osmin Stano Bazhevin on a cold, bleak afternoon when the clouds were nearly the same colour as Maia's skin. Because the Count Bazhevel had annoyed him with his scheming, Maia chose to receive him in the Untheileian, even though Osmin Bazhevin's status as the dead archduke's fiancée would have permitted him to use the Michen'theileian or even the receiving room of the Alcethemeret. But he hoped dourly that the frigid expanse of the Untheileian would encourage the Count Bazhevel to be brief.

oh my god I don't care I don't care I don't care I don't care I don't care I don't care I don't care I don't CARE I DON'T CARE I DON'T CARE

And that's the exact spot where I gave up.

( Analysis and Problem Solving )

I could go into more detail, and project how my version would play out based on the foundation I laid, but UGH I am so tired of thinking about this – now I've got it out I can finally get back to what I should be doing, ~~rewriting the Gospels~~ grinding out the last batch of colour keys on the never-ending one-person book assembly line ...

Here's an idea:

If the point of what you're writing is bewilderment on being dropped suddenly into a maelstrom of political intrigue and unfamiliar names and faces ...

... why not start the book in a simple, accessible style, focusing on welcoming the reader in, be it through your protagonist's personality or lived experience or emotions; something relatable that the reader can get their teeth into easily ...

AND THEN slam them with the fantasy names and bewildering formalities of the court at the same time as your protagonist, so even if you're not actually much good at communicating their internal life, you can recreate the same feelings in the reader and they can sympathise that way.

In other news, there was a flash of personality for one line on p.65. Either it was an accident, or I know who the author's favourite character is and have a hunch who won't survive to the end. RIP in advance, appropriated Ponder Stibbons.

I stopped doing my book reports in large part because I more or less stopped reading ... This happened about when I cleared my 'easy fiction' stack and moved onto the super dense French philosophy stack, oddly enough. I have dabbled in a little fiction here and there: Hans Christian Andersen's original fairy tales, surprisingly a slog; Light Perpetual, binged in two days and had a hard cry at the end.

Someone has just bought me a novel and sent it with very high recommendations, so I am embarking on reading it, and I thought I'd write down some thoughts while I do so because, frankly, at about 50pp in, that's pretty much the only thing encouraging me to keep reading. The thing is absolutely plastered in raving blurbs, so either there's something I'm not getting or it's a slow burn. I look forward to finding out, she said rhetorically.

For fun, I'm not going to tell you what book it is. Maybe you have read it and can guess. Maybe this will start some interesting conversations about the abstracts of storycraft. Maybe this will drive you absolutely crazy and you will badger me until I tell you. Isn't life exciting?

( Up to p.53 )

I've been throwing links into a rolling Radio Roundup draft practically all year, then they expire before I manage to code it and post it. So, here is a very random collection of listening, helped significantly by an increase in the number of programmes being hosted either permanently or on extended 'loan.' Not much comedy this time around, but the drama department is BACK.

FACTUAL
Conspiracies - We all know conspiracy theories are taking over the world, so this really excellent series exploring the modern history of conspiracies and the analysis of patterns between them comes none too soon. I've listened twice already and that won't be the last!
Dante 2021 - Dante Alighieri died 700 years ago, a year after finishing his most famous work, The Divine Comedy. You know, the one with the circles of Hell and all that. This two-part series looks at what this splendid work of the medieval imagination has to say to us today.
You're Dead to Me - The history podcast for people who don't like history (or who do like history, but also jokes) has released a whole lot more episodes of its signature 'expert meets comedian' cocktail. All fascinating, fills the hours nicely!
Blood and Bronze - Caravaggio has a reputation as the Bad Boy of the Renaissance, but he's an amateur next to the mad, bad, and dangerous to know OG, Benvenuto Cellini.
How To Resist Richard III - The charming, manipulative, narcissistic sociopath rising to a position of power feels like a modern phenomenon, but it's exactly what Shakespeare exposes in his play, which might also give us some clues as to how to stop them.
Bad People - Of all the new BBC Sounds podcasts, this one feels the most podcasty, being hosted by two chirpy and empathetic millennials. Its light conversationality is belied by the subject matter, however, which is criminal psychology! I binged the whole series in two days.
John le Carré - Spy novelist John le Carré died last year; this is an affectionate and comprehensive profile by his longtime friend and neighbour, Philippe Sands (who also presented the excellent The Ratline, which you may remember my going on about some time ago).
Yuri Gagarin - Looking into Soviet Russia's most charismatic cosmonaut, the first man in orbit, and (history has yet to prove me wrong here) the Birdie Bowers of the Space Age.

NARRATIVE NONFICTION
A new section here, as there are some excellent productions which blend history and drama:
Peking Noir - An intelligent, resourceful Russian flees the Revolution and sets up in the underworld of inter-war China. Historical research is complicated by their turning up sometimes as a woman and sometimes as a man. A compelling blend of detective work and drama attempts to thread together the fragments of a fascinating life.
The Battersea Poltergeist - A similar blend of sleuthing and dramatic recreation, a blend frequently found on TV but never, as far as I know, pulled off as successfully as this investigation into the weird case of a poltergeist in 1950s South London. One of a very few radio shows I've been unable to listen to after dark. Do listen with good headphones as the sound design is phenomenal.
Bomb Happy - I've been sitting on this link since Remembrance Day and haven't listened yet, but mean to. If memory serves, it's a dramatic reinterpretation of WWI PTSD in the soldiers' own words, but delivered by modern actors. The trailer was really promising. Maybe we can see about it together.

FICTIONAL
Scarlet Pimpernel expires soon- In my middle school French class, we watched the old film (in English), and it was never made clear that he was putting on the fop persona as an act, and I thought it was the stupidest story ever. I am pleased to say that this radio adaptation is clear as a bell and really fun. Secret agent rescuing people from the French Revolution, in case you didn't have to sit through the old film on a 21" TV all the way on the other side of your middle school French class.
Mabinogi - The great work of Welsh mythology comes to life in this fresh and compelling adaptation. I've only listened to Part 1 so far, but I've read the book, and it's an adept treatment of what could be overly precious or grandiose.
Going Dark - The theatres in London have been shut down a few times before 2020; once was when the Puritans took power in the mid-17th Century. This is the story of how some of those actors saw out that time.
Dance Til You Bleed - An omnibus of five lesser-known Hans Christian Andersen fairy tales, in their original form!
Sorrows of Young Werther - The original Emo, Werther suffers the torment of unrequited love and sets about ruining his life over it. Goethe's novel was hugely influential to the romantic movement, and if you've read about Beethoven at all you've probably heard of it. Now you can hear why.
The Meaning of Zong - The story of an atrocity that profoundly influenced Britain's abolition of the slave trade. This was a stage production adapted for radio, and sometimes suffers for it, but it has some moments of pure magic, so is worth being patient with.
Dot and the Russian Dossier - More secret agent hijinks, this time in wartime England, sort of if Wodehouse tried to be John le Carré but with a lot more ladies. Mainly I just love the pace and the arch way everyone is played. More Fenella Woolgar on the radio, please.

FUNNY
Keep Calman Carry On expires soon- Comedian Susan Calman is a very tense person, but has friends who are good at relaxing, so she sets out to learn from them the secrets of their success.
Just A Minute - After the passing of its eternal host, Nicholas Parsons, the mind-blowing rhetoric game is back with a series of guest hosts. The episode linked is the one I managed to join as part of the remote audience, which was fascinating. It turned out pretty well, despite some significant technical difficulties; I had worried they were going to scrap it. I don't know if they're trying out hosts to find a permanent one or if it will be a rotating chair from now on, but it's nice to see the show still [figuratively] on the road.

THE PLAYLIST
There was a real drought in interesting radio plays, but whoever's taken over as commissioner has brought a little diversity back. Here are some unknown quantities I intend to investigate in the near future:
Devoted - Mostly for the cast, this one, but it's a dramatsation of the six months a writer spent in hospital with Covid.
Scenes from a Zombie Apocalypse - "A persuasive modern horror story" according to the blurb; mainly it's on my list because the director is one of my dependables.
Writ in Water - A play about John Keats' last months
The Elder Son - A Russian farce
Marais and the Soul of the Termite - A South African naturalist meets an untimely end
Voodoo Macbeth - Orson Welles' all-Black staging of a Shakespeare play
Heart of Darkness - updated Conrad
Wasteland - a rubbish comedy, by a good writer
Star child - a gently comic take on the Nativity

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~ Random Thoughts and Scribblings ~

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