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[personal profile] tealin
I'll save my full-fledged review for when the DVD comes out, as I've just learned it won't be long now, so I'll be able to take notes and have visual aides and everything. In the meantime, here are the notes I so evilly took in the actual movie theatre while watching the movie. Keep in mind it's harder to nail down vague positives than specific negatives, so it may sound like I hated it while I really didn't. They are more than a little choppy, but they do record actual immedate responses to things and also the crazy genius things my sister came up with.


4:15 show, Sunday 26 February 2005

30s – nice establishment

Tall Paul (stand-in for normal-height people in hobbit scenes in LotR) is at the theatre closing

The iron girder pillar things (that hold up the train lines?) are painted in stripes so as to make the cross-bars look like Ks. I don't know if this was intentional or merely historically accurate, but it was amusing.

Curt Denham (Jack Black) has a MAP! And he's presenting it to some disinterested executives in an enthusiastic and naive manner! Atlantis, anyone?

Jack Black has a character face, and Curt could have been played by Nathan Lane

Ann and the apple scene: Aladdin!
CURT: [steering her away] Sorry, vendor, she's just on her way to the doctor.
ANN: [to carriage horse] Hello, doctor.
[TARDIS materializes]
DOCTOR: You called?

For the course of the entire movie, until I looked it up on IMDb this morning, I was sure the ship's captain was played by David Wenham (Faramir, and Moist's eyes and nose). The fact that the actor is actually German may render invalid my note about his accent being inconsistent … or strengthen it.

Pickpocket boy should be Lee Ingleby
(AMUSING STORY: When I did the IMDb thing this morning, I learned that Jamie Bell, who played this part, played Smike in the Pretty People edition of Nicholas Nickleby. So he really IS the sort of alternate-universe Lee Ingleby!)

'S!...K!...U!...L!...L! ISLAND' typing scene is just a LITTLE excessively overdramatic. Is this really necessary? At least he just wrote 'island' and didn't dramatically spell that out, too. Though that would make for a very comic scene, if someone were to spoof it.

Why is a playwright so buff? (Sister's answer: because he gets such a good workout from typing, as demonstrated in the previous scene.)
To quote Prunesquallor: 'We tire of the sight of your abdomen.'

Wow, they got to southeast Asia really quickly.

FOG! Thank you, Radio9.

Ah, the P.J. 'drugged' sequences, with the motion blurry camera at 10 frames per second. (Little did I know how often and arbitrarily they would be used!)

Coffee stain on the map? VFD, anyone?

The anticipation of the ship's impact on the rocks was masterful; I was actually bracing myself in my seat and cringeing. Unfortunately the actual impact put me in mind of people throwing themselves unconvincingly across the bridge of the Enterprise.

P.J. loves his skulls. (And his bridges, though that might be a Weta thing. This is something my sister noticed and we've expanded on ... She bets they're just waiting for the movie where they get to make a bridge out of skulls. She also, very amusingly, put a bridge in her most recent layout assignment. It doesn't appear to go anywhere, but of course, it is the Bridge to Weta. Stay tuned for more bridge action.)

Little native kid: Homo floresiensis! WOO!! [anthropology nerd]

Bridge! (see, there was one.)

Okay, it paid off in a gag later on, but the whole 'Mike died for what he believed in etc. etc.' speech fell a little flat the first time ... it wasn't sincere enough to sound sincere and wasn't played up enough to be winking at the audience. I was just left going 'huh?' which wasn't helped by not knowing that character's name was Mike. And it would have been nice to see it used more than once again, as something with that much setup should be milked more, and the restraint shown in only reusing it once is out of character for the rest of the movie.

Kong rips Ann from her scaffold ... and her arms break off. It looks like they should, and it sounds like they do!

Okay, that scene where Kong stands at the cave mouth and just shakes her around for five minutes? What the heck is going on? Why is he doing that? Why does he keep doing that? I'm so confused! My theory is that P.J. just said 'Do a few different takes of that scene and we'll pick the one we like best and cut the rest,' then forgot to cut them. I doubt that's what actually happened, but it's the only explanation I can come up with.

It's a whole island of bridges! (I believe this was in a shot with two natural bridges over a chasm... when this comes out on DVD, there will be an official Bridge Tally.)

P.J. trying to take Spielberg’s dinosaur fire

Rolling ball of dino flesh…?

Character establishment insufficient except for Jimmy – everyone’s more or less a ‘type’
Jimmy may be a type, too, but we know exactly who he is, we don’t have to guess based on his occupation or appearance.

The film assistant guy (Preston) reminds me of Ponder Stibbons.

Kong eats bamboo … so he’s a panda now?

Tarzan bridge! There’s a bridge that looks like that iconic mossy-branch-in-front-of-misty-forest thing in Disney’s Tarzan. Like … exactly.

Ann’s lingerie has held up remarkably well.

Philosophy of this film: What’s better than one ____? Two _____! (or three ____, or nine ____, or fifteen ____…) (credit goes to sister for that one)

This is a totally tiny thing, but in the background of a scene where a bunch of characters are going downhill quickly (which one? There are so many!) there’s a protruding log or rock or something that looks exactly like the thing the pink butterflies come out of in El Dorado.

The fight between Kong and the T-Rex(es?) in the creepers simultaneously reminded me of Tarzan fighting Sabor and/or Clayton and the scene between Kuzco and Pacha fighting in the remains of the bridge in Emperor’s New Groove. I was waiting for someone to either get a mouth full of bats or hanged. Of course, when Kong and Ann reach the bottom, they have to find a way back up, which led to this gag sketch:



This sequence also reminded me how long it’s been since I watched either Tarzan or Groove. Sigh.

Why would the T-Rexes bother with such small bony prey? Why would that one, especially, throw away his nice fresh juicy giant lizard to chase the little tiny crunchy mammal?

Giant spider? Check!
White glowy thing to scare it away? Check! (that was also sister’s)

Worms from Dune! (Okay, they weren’t really, later, but that’s what they looked like at first. And, for the record, here is all I know about Dune: there is lots of sand, giant worms with three-part mouths, and people harvest Spice which may or may not be worm poop and makes their eyes glow blue. I have learned this from the Dune sim game, which I have watched people play, and the snippets of the movie which I saw on TV through childhood.)

Jimmy is the world’s most AMAZING marksman, especially for someone who’s never fired a gun before! He could have a career ahead of him doing stunt shooting on the entertainment circuit, if he survives this adventure, which he probably won’t because he is alternate-universe Lee Ingleby, who we know always dies.

I wonder if, instead of an extended edition DVD, they’ll come out with a condensed edition?

The crew climbs one side of the canyon and Jack climbs the other – where’s a bridge when you need one? Not along the whole stretch of canyon shown in this scene!

There’s a boat full of chloroform. Is this just a little too convenient? (There’s a plot hole here that I’ll explore more fully in the actual review.) And didn’t we see the boat get swept off the rocks by the storm?

First, Kong has no ‘dangly bits’/socks/humorous vegetables, then ‘he’ very motherly cradles and strokes Ann … perhaps this should be Queen Kong?

ARGH! BATS DON’T WORK THAT WAY! It is a tremendous effort for even an average-sized bat to carry anything in flight, and it is a well-known principle that as body size increases, wing size must increase exponentially, so these bats probably wouldn’t be able to fly at all, much less carry two adult humans (including a buff playwright).

Who is this movie about? No, I really mean that. Who is it about?

Ozzy Osborne gorilla, biting the heads off bats and people alike…

It’s nice to see a harpoon gun in action. Just warming audiences up for The Vile Village and The Penultimate Peril.

Note how they very conveniently avoid showing how they got Kong back to NY, thus leaving one and all to wonder how did they get him on the boat? I don’t think there’s a cabin big enough for him, they’d have to strap him to the front deck. Like roadkill.

Jack Driscoll was moved by the words of his own play?

I kept being distracted by the Pepsodent sign in Times Square – was one of the things it said ‘From the novel FROM TEETH’? I kept trying to see if that was really what it said. What was actually happening in that scene?

Ice skating scene … Bambi, anyone? (my sister called the ice skating scene before it happened, by the way)

Wouldn’t Ann be REALLY cold?

Very good sense of scale; the Empire State building really feels like the tallest thing around, and it has a great sense of air around it as well. Miyazaki has a fantastic way of making the viewer feel like they’re way up in the air with a tremendous feeling of space and atmosphere, and P.J. seems to have joined the club.

Okay, this might have started with the original 1933 King Kong, but the tanks and trucks and soldiers firing machine guns and rockets through the city at the humongous menace just put me right back in Iron Giant. (Why do I always type ‘Ginat’?) Then the artistic guy comes running through them, spurning safety barriers – he might as well be yelling ‘STOP! The Giant’s got the girl in his hand!’

Another sister observation: Ann dissuading the pilots from shooting Kong is rather like Nausicaa … (La, la lala la la la…) Kong is cuter than a giant bug, though. Would the movie have been fuller with lakes of acid, I wonder?

Very effective falling scene.

Preliminary bridge count: nine, not counting the ones seen from the top of the Empire State building because you can’t help but have those.

Okay, here is the story of my sister’s genius:
It starts at the scene where Kong and Ann watch the sun set from that ledge high up the mountainside. In stage play form, and paraphrased because I don’t have the best memory for lines, here is how that scene went:

ANN: [gestures to sunset and vista] Beautiful! It’s beautiful!
SISTER: She points to herself, ‘beautiful!’
ANN: [places hand on her chest] Beautiful!
[Sister and I high-five]
SISTER: She points at Kong … ‘Ugly!’
[KONG places hand on chest]
SISTER and I: ‘Uuugleeeee’
ANN: Yes!

So, that was amusing, and Iron Gianty in a ‘rock … tree’ kind of way. Then came the army vehicles and firearms and Dean/Jack … and then the scene atop the Empire State building where, riddled with itty bitty bullets, Kong gazes mournfully at Ann and she back. Here my sister suggested that Kong should lift off from the top of the building, fired by his rocket-propelled feet, and soar into the sky in a Superman pose saying ‘UUUUGLEEEEEEEEE!’ Here's a stellar doodle I did in the dark of the movie theatre to remind me of this, complete with surrounding scribbles:

He's smiling, see? Art!
Later, of course, we added the ‘You stay, I go, no following.’ I’m sure I’m not retelling it well enough, but it had us laughing so hard we had tears coming out of our eyes, and I didn’t fully recover until about noon on Monday. Sigh. Good times.

My sister has a blog, too, by the way; she goes by [livejournal.com profile] tulanoodle and the world would be well served if you could bug her to post more often.

Brilliant

Date: 2006-03-01 12:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] noodledaddy.livejournal.com
What, no ginger ale coming out of your nose? What a rip.

Date: 2006-03-01 01:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ari-enchanted.livejournal.com
Curt could have been played by Nathan Lane.

You probably don't want to know this, but I can't even hear about Nathan Lane without immediately thinking of a story my drama teacher told me about her gay friend getting picked up by Nathan Lane in a bar in New York and coming home the next day with pink eye.

And isn't it Carl Denham?

And King Kong rules. :)

Date: 2006-03-01 02:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anathelen.livejournal.com
They did indeed have excessive amounts of chlorine even for a ship that usually transported dangerous animals.

I never really thought about the bridges. But now I won't be able to go without thinking about bridges whenever I see the movie. Bridges. BRIDGES BRIDGES BRIDGES

But not bridges made of skulls.

Date: 2006-03-01 02:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ari-enchanted.livejournal.com
P.S. What is it with not casting Lee Ingleby in parts he's perfect for. In the live-action remake of The Last Unicorn they're totally not casting Lee Ingleby when they should (http://ari-enchanted.livejournal.com/56851.html#cutid1).

Date: 2006-03-01 02:36 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
I think your sister and my brother need to get together some time. They'd get along well. XD

Date: 2006-03-01 02:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] twirlynoodle.livejournal.com
You know what is really amusing about that is that Mr Rhys-Myers also played Steerpike, who looks like this (http://www.mervynpeake.org/shop/images/steerpike_large.jpg) in the actual author's own drawing.

I have to say I don't think our dear Mr Ingleby looks at all like Schmendrick, though... And Schmendrick doesn't die! So of course he can't play him! ;) It is awfully weird to see him with a girl hanging off him, though ... [mind warp]

Date: 2006-03-01 02:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] twirlynoodle.livejournal.com
Yes, it is Carl. Doy. This was my faulty mnemonic device: It's some German name starting with a 'k' sound that we only find out in the third act is actually spelled with a C. :P Thank you.

Your story is also amusing. (lol) I will now forever think of Nathan Lane as Pink-Eye Nathan, spreading conjunctivitis wherever he goes... like pixy dust! Okay, this is going too far; I'm going to stop before there's a *glingle glingle glingle*.

Date: 2006-03-01 03:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ari-enchanted.livejournal.com
Aww, I think he looks like Schmendrick! Although this may be some sort of transference from a childhood crush on Schmendrick.

You know, I saw Master and Commander before I read the book, and when I got to the bit about Hollom sleeping with that chick, I could not reconcile the thought of Lee Ingleby and a girl. I do think it's creepy the way the pic of him parallels the one of Schmendrick...

Date: 2006-03-01 03:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] maladroitness.livejournal.com
I am definitely amused. Though I was harsher on my own critique of the film....I am still genuinely amused.
You seriously have a way with words, and most everything you said (besides being one-hundred percent true) had me chuckling to myself.

The only thing about King Kong I will say is this: The graphics were superb, the scenery and setting was sweeping and epic, but there were times when I wanted to find whoever wrote the screen play and strangle them with my own two tiny little hands.

Peter Jackson excluded of course.



Anyways, enjoyed your doodles also of course :) though your comments were especially hysterical--especially those relating to disney movies. (frolicks off to watch Krunk's New Groove)

Date: 2006-03-01 04:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] salamandersoup.livejournal.com
[reads of Tula's genius] :| ..... 8| [DIES] XD

Hard core giggling ensues! The superman scene will NEVER be quite the same.

Date: 2006-03-01 11:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lepitot.livejournal.com
LOL! I love the Kong/ Groove gag sketch. Oh, it's been forever since I've seen either Tarzan or Groove, too.

Heh, it took me a while through your note (I just barely skimmed them) to realize P.J. wasn't a character but Peter Jackson. Wow, I'm pretty dumb sometimes...

Maybe Peter Jackson just loves cartoons and wanted to showcase his favorites haha. Doubtful. But, it's amusing that there are sooo many allusions, whether or not they were intentional or not...

Jon

Date: 2006-03-02 05:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thefordmustang.livejournal.com
This was hilarious! I got some really got laughs in for today! I loved the references to "The Emperor's New Groove," "Tarzan," "Nausicaa," David Wenham as Moist von Lipwig, buff script writers, Spielberg and other things. Nice!

At least in North America you probably get to see the whole movie. In Iceland they break it up in annoying parts to have refreshment breaks, and it just does not make any sense why they do it. Oh well...

Date: 2006-03-02 01:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] chinchilla82.livejournal.com
Kong rips Ann from her scaffold ... and her arms break off. It looks like they should, and it sounds like they do!
That's what I said! Out loud! In a crowded theatre! And people laughed. It was a good feeling.

Why would the T-Rexes bother with such small bony prey? Why would that one, especially, throw away his nice fresh juicy giant lizard to chase the little tiny crunchy mammal?
This just made me think of The Lion King. "Pecans, with a very pleasant crunch." But when it got to three giant dinosaurs, I was just going "P.J., that's enough!" Another laugh from the people in my vicinity. I so want to respond to your entire thing. I am also sensing many opportunities for comics throughout this...
You and your sister are hilarious. *toddles off to read sister blog's*

ps- I can only imagine P.J. going to WETA with the idea for Kong and them saying, "Well, we do have some bigatures left over from LotR...mainly because we're still shooting those. Mostly bridges, though, is that all right?"

Date: 2006-03-02 08:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] azvolrien.livejournal.com
I laughed insanely. Not when I was watching the film, but in hindsight, whilst reading this... *snort*
As for transporting Kong: I kind of assumed they tied him to the deck, and kept hitting him with chloroform bottles.

Four words: MIYAZAKI IS A GOD.

Date: 2006-03-03 02:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hyel.livejournal.com
Jack Driscoll was moved by the words of his own play?

*giggles* Oh yeah. "Damn... I'm a GENIUS."

There was a lot about that movie one could poke fun at. As demonstrated. :D

"Pixie Dust"

Date: 2006-03-10 01:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] disneyboy.livejournal.com
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Notes on Twirlynoodle's notes

Date: 2006-03-10 06:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] disneyboy.livejournal.com
Ok, after careful study and documentation (and a lot of googling and checking out Wikkipedia on names and references I was not yet familiar with), I have catalogued all of TwirlyNoodle's references and come up with a Final Count:
LOTR: 3 (4, if counting Homo Florecensis, commonly called Hobbits by their discoverers)
Animated films:12
Disney animated films: 7
Tarzan:2
Iron Giant:at least 2
Miyazaki:2
British TV/radio: 2
Discworld characters:3
Lee Ingleby (and/or Master and Commander):3
Lemony Snicket:2
Star Trek:1

Thus, from reading the review, I have conclusively confirmed what I have long suspected:
EVERYTHING and EVERYONE in Twirlynoodle's world revolves around or relates directly to either some Disney animated film, The Iron Giant, A Terry Pratchet "Discworld " character, Lord of the Rings, Lee Inglebee, or any combination of two or more! :) Seriously, I'm quite impressed that she could take such detailed notes the first time while watching the movie! And your sister's observations/ideas, as well as your gag drawings, were truly inspired and hilarious! I'm really starting to lose consciuosnesss here - I'll try to respond to more individual notes about the movie when I wake up, OK? Fear not!

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