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A Rant on the Nature of Spoilers
Jul. 20th, 2007 07:43 pmI try to refrain from posting contents of email on here, but I need this intro.
Well, correspondent, I will rant about it, but not in the way you would like.
If someone has come up to you and, without warning, yelled crucial book details in your ear, then yes, you are a victim. If you get a page of simple illustrations tacked to your bedroom door that are impossible not to instantly comprehend, you are a victim. But if you see a link that says 'Deathly Hallows pages here!' and click on it and read them, you are merely a victim of your lack of self-control.
People are going to post stuff online. That's what people do. Anyone who thinks humanity in general is naturally accommodating, compassionate, and level-headed has either been living under their bed all their life or completely unobservant of the world at large. The internet is rife with people who are a)maniacally obsessive, b)gleefully provocative, or c)both. What could possibly give anyone the impression that if someone had access to the object of so much frenzy they would not post it online? And what's the good of posting something online if you don't distribute the links to it? Surely the failure to do so would result in the loss of significant prestige as a fan/nerd/internet spy/provocateur/badass/etc.
So, you know these things are out there. If you are so afraid of having anything spoiled, take precautions. Don't Google search 'Harry Potter Deathly Hallows,' or for that matter, don't search for anything Potter at all because you don't know what might be in the blurb or even the link title. Don't hang around fan sites or forums. Don't go Potter browsing on YouTube.* The important thing I'm trying to say is that unless you have something implanted in your brain by which anything posted anywhere in the internet gets transferred directly to your head, at some point it will be up to you to click on something that will take you to where the spoilers are. You have to not click on that thing. If it takes this to make you realise you have no self-control, at least it was something that, in the long run, is fairly inconsequential, so be grateful. If you don't know how much self-control you have, err on the side of precaution and avoid circumstances where it may be tested. If you know you have no self-control, lock yourself in your room until you have finished the book, and as a side note: never look at a member of the opposite sex, walk near any vertical drops, go near a fast-food restaurant, pick up a video game, walk past a casino, look at a cigarette, even think about learning to drive, keep any toxic chemicals in your house, or come within two miles of alcohol, because you will probably end up dead, pregnant, or severely embarrassed in some way.
Discipline is a muscle and if you haven't exercised it enough to resist the temptation, then find a way not to be tempted. If you don't want spoilers, don't click the link, or don't put yourself in a situation where there may be a link to click. It's as simple as that. And don't get angry at the person who posted it if it was marked as having spoilers or was obvious that it would.**
As for me, I'm going to a party tonight with a few people who have not gotten the book yet, and I shall be excusing myself from the internet this weekend and until I finish it, because I will undoubtedly have plot points emailed to me by people asking for illustrations and details will be impossible to avoid once everyone else has read it.
And by the way, I posted this without having 'looked into it' because that is an excellent way of having things spoiled for me.
*I really hope someone has written a song containing all the DH spoilers and videotaped themselves singing it with their guitar and posted it on YouTube. I want to watch it when I finish the book.
**If someone got a hold of the book, do you seriously think they'd post photos of the most innocuous pages?
Can you believe there's a leak for the 7th out there? Someone took photos of the actual book and posted them online. People, eh? You should rant about it in your LJ, once you look into it.
Well, correspondent, I will rant about it, but not in the way you would like.
If someone has come up to you and, without warning, yelled crucial book details in your ear, then yes, you are a victim. If you get a page of simple illustrations tacked to your bedroom door that are impossible not to instantly comprehend, you are a victim. But if you see a link that says 'Deathly Hallows pages here!' and click on it and read them, you are merely a victim of your lack of self-control.
People are going to post stuff online. That's what people do. Anyone who thinks humanity in general is naturally accommodating, compassionate, and level-headed has either been living under their bed all their life or completely unobservant of the world at large. The internet is rife with people who are a)maniacally obsessive, b)gleefully provocative, or c)both. What could possibly give anyone the impression that if someone had access to the object of so much frenzy they would not post it online? And what's the good of posting something online if you don't distribute the links to it? Surely the failure to do so would result in the loss of significant prestige as a fan/nerd/internet spy/provocateur/badass/etc.
So, you know these things are out there. If you are so afraid of having anything spoiled, take precautions. Don't Google search 'Harry Potter Deathly Hallows,' or for that matter, don't search for anything Potter at all because you don't know what might be in the blurb or even the link title. Don't hang around fan sites or forums. Don't go Potter browsing on YouTube.* The important thing I'm trying to say is that unless you have something implanted in your brain by which anything posted anywhere in the internet gets transferred directly to your head, at some point it will be up to you to click on something that will take you to where the spoilers are. You have to not click on that thing. If it takes this to make you realise you have no self-control, at least it was something that, in the long run, is fairly inconsequential, so be grateful. If you don't know how much self-control you have, err on the side of precaution and avoid circumstances where it may be tested. If you know you have no self-control, lock yourself in your room until you have finished the book, and as a side note: never look at a member of the opposite sex, walk near any vertical drops, go near a fast-food restaurant, pick up a video game, walk past a casino, look at a cigarette, even think about learning to drive, keep any toxic chemicals in your house, or come within two miles of alcohol, because you will probably end up dead, pregnant, or severely embarrassed in some way.
Discipline is a muscle and if you haven't exercised it enough to resist the temptation, then find a way not to be tempted. If you don't want spoilers, don't click the link, or don't put yourself in a situation where there may be a link to click. It's as simple as that. And don't get angry at the person who posted it if it was marked as having spoilers or was obvious that it would.**
As for me, I'm going to a party tonight with a few people who have not gotten the book yet, and I shall be excusing myself from the internet this weekend and until I finish it, because I will undoubtedly have plot points emailed to me by people asking for illustrations and details will be impossible to avoid once everyone else has read it.
And by the way, I posted this without having 'looked into it' because that is an excellent way of having things spoiled for me.
*I really hope someone has written a song containing all the DH spoilers and videotaped themselves singing it with their guitar and posted it on YouTube. I want to watch it when I finish the book.
**If someone got a hold of the book, do you seriously think they'd post photos of the most innocuous pages?
