GOP Gospel: The Beatitudes

Day 29 of my Lent project. For background, please read this.

A reading from the Gospel according to the GOP:

"Blessed are the proactive, for they shall achieve success.
Blessed are the cheerful, for when you laugh, the whole world laughs with you.
Blessed are the assertive, for they shall win friends and influence people.
Blessed are those who respect the law and authorities, for they shall live in peace and prosperity.
Blessed are the firm, for they shall not be taken advantage of.
Blessed are the pragmatic, for they get things done.
Blessed are the warriors, for they bring freedom to the world.
Blessed are those who are proud to call themselves Christian, for their testimony enlightens the godless.
Blessed are you when you unite with your brothers and sisters to correct unrighteousness in my name and drive out the evildoer. Rejoice and be glad, for by your collective strength you purify the community in the eyes of God and come closer in union with each other, and on such unity is civilization founded."

( Matthew 5:3-12 )

( Discussion, or: Tealin Bangs On about Réné Girard Some More )