The Arrogance of Questionnaires

[tealin]

Because snarky self-important responses are more fun than yes/no and both are better than working on my portfolio...
Will Harry live? I'd like to say no [catharsis!] but I suspect yes. Maybe. I dunno. Could go either way. If he was still an item with Ginny at the end of Book 6 I'd say definitely no.
Will Voldemort live? Probably not.
Will Harry time travel? I really hope not.
Will Ron live? 'No one dies except the best friend.' If Harry dies, Ron will live, or vice versa.
Will Hermione live? Yes, she has to grow up to be the author. ;)
Will Snape live? He will succumb to anime cliche #2: the series' bad guy will redeem himself then DIE.
Is Snape loyal to Dumbledore and the Order? Ultimately, yes
Did Dumbledore tell anyone why he trusted Snape? Perhaps Mycr– er, Aberforth. Actually, no, I just wanted to pretend I was in another fandom for a minute.
Was Snape in love with Lily? I really hope not, but probably. Might've been one-sided.
Will Dudley be the one to perform magic later in life? DANGER, WORLD. I'd peg Petunia for this one.
Will Percy return to his family and realise the error of his ways? (Nice British spelling there) Um ... only if he then DIES. (see Snape)
Who was the "awful boy" Petunia referred to in book 5? James – who else would Lily dare bring home? If Petunia had met Snape she'd have loved James. Which she didn't. Therefore...
Will love play a part in Harry conquering Voldemort as opposed to him using an Avada Kedavra? He will be defeated with the power of luuuuuuuuuuuurv. Otherwise why would it be such a big deal through all the books?
Will we/Harry learn more about love in the Department of Mysteries? No, we'll learn more about it in the Department of Luuuuuuuuuuuuurv.
Will Harry sacrifice himself because of love/friendship? In one way or another probably...
Will Harry tell someone he loves them in book 7? I'd like to say no, but it will probably happen several times. Specifically to Voldemort, before he explodes into pink confetti hearts.
Will Neville find love? Hasn't he already? Hasn't everyone already?
Will Ron and Hermione get married? They're 17!!
Will Harry and Ginny get married? They're 17 and 16!!
Will Tonks and Lupin get married? I don't care!
Did Dumbledore have a spouse? Aaaugh!
Are Pince and Filch a couple? AAAUGH!!
Will we learn about the little witch or wizarding babies that the trio might have? AAAAAAAUGH!!!
Will we see any new ships? ARE THERE ANY WE HAVEN'T SEEN ALREADY?! Don't answer that!
Will Hogwarts reopen? If it's not reduced to smoking rubble. And even then, maybe.
Is there a Horcrux hidden in Hogwarts? It'd be a pretty stupid place not to hide one.
Will Harry return to Hogwarts as a student? What, like, a grad student?
Will Voldemort try to take over Hogwarts? He'd be stupid not to. Especially if he was un-stupid enough to hide a Horcrux there. The question we must ask ourselves is: is Voldemort stupid? Seems pretty obvious.
Will a battle take place at Hogwarts again? Maybe, it's got so many great sets.
Will the Hogwarts ghosts play a role in the war against Voldemort? They've got to, otherwise what's the point? (By the way, if Hogwarts is reduced to smoking ruins, will that sever the ghosts' ties to it?)
Will we visit the Chamber of Secrets again? Doubt it, though the school might collapse into it à la Loamhedge.
Will we see the Mirror of Erised again? Only if you want to. (HAHAHAHA)
Will we hear the Hogwarts students sing the school song again? NEVERRRR. MWAHAHAHAHAA.
Will we see a new Transfiguration teacher now that Professor McGonagall is filling in for Dumbledore? Possibly ... but she will be ... IN DISGUISE.
Have all the Hogwarts founders created a secret room in Hogwarts, (like the Chamber of Secrets)? Helga Hufflepuff probably has a sinister secret spa.
Will we find out why Peeves listens to and slightly scared of the Bloody Baron? Didn't we already?
Will The Order of Phoenix continue meeting in secrecy? Yes, at a French bar, and Mrs Weasley will take up knitting.
Will Fred and George join the Order? Not to do so would be a betrayal of their characters, so I leave it up to you whether there is a precedence for that sort of thing.
Will Percy join the order? Yes, either as a mole or as part of his Death By Redemption.
Will the Minsistry and the Order combine forces and unite against Lord Voldemort? It's unlikely but that would be ignoring the unifying force of a common enemy. The question is, will Ms Rowling find more joy in having the Order go 'I told ya so' to the Ministry, or to have the Ministry learn, first-hand, the power of humility and cooperation (a.k.a. LUUUURV).
Will we learn more about what James, Lily or Sirius did for the Order during 1st war? We'd better, but if we learn all the things we ought to, the book will be insufferably bloated.
Will Grimmauld Place still be the Order's head quarters in book 7? No, it will be part of their climb up the property ladder. (wha?)
Who is the member of the Order that we will get to know more? Mycro– er, Aberforth! Aheh. Yeah.
Will Voldemort learn the entire Prophecy? Yes - but it will be the one about cabbages and purple exploding giraffes – Oops! Wrong one! What a hilarious mixup! Hahaha!
Will Lord Voldemort discover that Dumbledore found out about and told Harry about the Horcruxes? Yes, when Harry goes around DESTROYING them. That would make it kind of obvious.
Do the Death Eaters have a head quarters like the Order? ... Duh. (It's inside Voldemort's head!)
Has Voldemort in fact recruited Draco Malfoy as a Death Eater? Didn't he already? I should probably read that book again...
Do one or more of the Death Eaters know about Lord Voldemort’s Horcruxes? Maybe one or two... of both. Like, one or two DEs know Voldemort has horcruxes but not where or what or how many they are.
Do you think Regulus Black was murdered by Lord Voldemort himself? Judging by the stupid death his brother received, who knows? He should have been.
Will Bella sacrifice herself for Lord Voldemort? I hope she does something a heck of a lot crazier than that.
Is there a spy from the Order among the Death Eaters yet to be revealed? That would be cool. Possibly too cool.
Is Narcissa a Death Eater? No, black skull tattoos are ugly. (Because Makani's Narcissa is canon, hehe)
Will any of the Death Eaters turn good? Just before they DIE. (I'm kind of stuck on this.)
Will Wormtail pay his life debt to Harry? Yes, that is the thing to do. And then he will DIE.
Will Voldemort try to recruit more types of creatures than those he has? OMG ZOMBIE RHINOS YES.
Why did Voldemort send Wormtail to Snape? 1. To keep an eye on him (because he'd be good at that, haha) 2. To torment him 3. For a laugh
Will the centaurs play an important role in Deathly Hallows? They've only had a setup and a reintroduction, it looks pretty obvious from here.
Will the house elves be free? Not all of them, but the free ones will play an important part becuase we just can't get rid of the darn things and there's one on the cover.
Will Dobby be of further help to Harry in his Horcrux hunt? Yes, see above. (Maybe Dobby is a horcrux! Wouldn't that be nice!)
Will the goblins choose to fight on the good side and help them win? As bankers of the wizarding world, I suspect they will remain neutral ... like the Swiss.
Will we see Griphook again? Who ... OH. That guy. I thought this was a Redwall crossover for a minute. Um ... no, because he wasn't paired up with anyone in Book 6. Unless he's the representative banker that says 'We're neutral; store your vast ill-gotten gains here.'
Will Lupin convince any of the werewolves to join the good side? This would probably involve combat, not patient reasoning hugs and exposing backstory so ... no.
Will we learn the 12 uses of dragons blood? No, you have to go to Chrestomanci for that. Bookjump!
Will we see Norbert again? Oh no, I hadn't thought of that ... we probably will, won't we? Hagrid's creature fascination has to pay off in some positive way.
Will we learn that some of the creatures that Luna talks about are real? Haven't we already? It'd be cool if the spurious articles in her dad's magazine were actually the Order's coded messages.
Will there be peace and cooperation between all creatures and wizards? Only for as long as it takes to defeat the common enemy and then all will fall to bickering again. Probably not even that.
Will we see Fawkes again? Yes, and he will win the Eurovision Song Contest and turn into a rainbow.
Will Hedwig help Harry in the fight against Voldemort? Maybe in some small way...
Will we find out who owns the Riddle house now? I know who it is. It is Sting.
Will we visit Azkaban prison in book 7? I don't think we need to but we probably will.
Will the wizarding bank Gringotts play an important part in book 7? It has THE MONEYS.
Will Albania play a role in book 7 as Voldemort spent so much time there? No, unless Mycroft/Aberforth is there for a sunny beachside vacation.
Is there a Horcrux at Tom Riddle's orphanage in London? There should be but no. I suspect it was Blitz'd. Or maybe they just said it was a German bomb ... hmm?
Will Durmstrang play a role in book 7? Not a big one. But we'll probably find out where Krum went because that's too big a loose end to resist.
Will Harry take a stroll into the Forbidden Forest again? He loves it there.
Will we visit Grimmaulds Place again? Probably, and there will likely be some crying.
Bill is working as a curse breaker in Egypt, and all the Weaslys have been there. Will Egypt play a role in book 7? Maybe tangentially.
Did Snape, Lily and Petunia grow up in the area around Spinner’s End? Yes, they shared a sandbox, and Lily was Homecoming Queen, and Snape joy-rode her car into the ditch, and good times were had by all!
Will we see what's beyond the veil? Yes. It is a Tesco's. Sirius is kept inside by the vast selection and low, low prices.
Will the Horcrux hunt bring Harry out of Britain? No
Will we find out what any of the whirring silver instruments in Dumbledore’s office do? Possily, but Harry will, because ... see below.
Ollivander... ...can FLY.
Will the draught of the living death play a role in book 7? Yes, because such a thing is impossible for writers to resist.
Do the tasks the trio went through at the end of Philosopher’s Stone/Sorcerer’s Stone foreshadow some of the plot in book 7? I hope not.
Will Harry talk to Sirius again? If he takes the draught of living death, can he arrange a visit?
Will Harry inherit Dumbledore’s pensieve? Yes – AND EVERYTHING IT CONTAINS! He will do a pensieve-thought-transfer and become Dumbledore! AHAHAHA!
Will Halloween be an important day/night in book 7? I wish. Probably not though. Probably Valentine's Day.
Where is Sirius' bike? After the owner of the hut on the island discovered it there, he pawned it, and it ended up in the posession of one A.J. Crowley who needed a replacement for his 1926 Bentley.
Is Harry a Horcrux? No, but his scar is ... cut it out and smash it! Yarr!

Inspired by octaveleap. Well, not the answers. Taking the quiz I mean. That just ate a lot of time, curses.

Comments

[salamandersoup.livejournal.com]

LOL HOMAN, this made my day. xD

"It'd be cool if the spurious articles in her dad's magazine were actually the Order's coded messages."

YES. YES IT WOULD.