Canvassing the Internet: Platonic Admiration

[tealin]

I know I was behind the door when hormones were handed out, but surely I am not the only one who finds it possible to respect and admire someone – or even just like a fictional character – without being sexually attracted to them. In high school the response to a statement of such admiration was usually full of conspiratorial innuendo, accompanied by a virtual 'wink wink nudge nudge.' I thought that when I joined the grownup world that mindset had been left behind, but I've encountered it a few times recently and it's got me wondering. Anyone out there know what I'm talking about? Opinions? Insights? Observations? Advice, even?

Comments

[maggiebloome.livejournal.com]

Well, sure, but awesomeness covers a lot of ground as far as my hormones are concerned. It's not all physical. Of course, a significant proportion IS physical, so I do get these moments where someone does something ridiculously wonderful and part of my brain goes "omg, would hit that" for a second until the rest kicks in and reminds me, no, you actually wouldn't, technically speaking.

Examples: In SGA, I am not particularly attracted to Rodney McKay, but reading fic I am not actually looking at him, so the mental properties have a higher effect ratio (this is like the thing where you crush on an internet penpal until you see photos, although that always makes me feel sort of shallow) and besides, I AM attracted to John Sheppard so Mckay-POV fics are handy like that. In Bandom, it is generally agreed upon that Gerard Way is objectively sort of silly looking, but jesus, put that man on a stage and I do not give a damn. His stage presence seriously actually overrides his "if michael jackson's surgeon hadn't missed the mark quite so spectacularly" features. Actually being in a rock band (a good one, obvsly) is a boost of some level to anybody's attractiveness, hence groupies.

But yes, sometimes people are so far off your personal scale of hotness that no amount of awesome is going to override that. It's easier to tell when they aren't in text-based fiction, because c'mon, movie Draco Malfoy and Remus Lupin and Sirius Black (I mean, well, okay, and HARRY POTTER) were completely not hot at all, but by then it was too late!

I guess the point of a mindcrush is that if those qualities were accompanied by an attractive appearance you would totally be all over that, and then you, well, feel sort of shallow. So.

Anyway, the wink-nudge thing is by no means universal, I spent some portion of last night squeeing with my (male, straight) friend over Stephen Colbert and how amazing he is (the man SPEAKS ELVISH) and the point never came up. People do tend to joke about that sort of thing, but only initially. Once it becomes clear that your admiration is genuine (and, well, as long as you didn't blush hilariously enough the first time to warrant a running joke) people mostly stop.