2020 In Review
Dec. 31st, 2020 12:02 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tealinI haven't done a recap or reflection in quite a few years; I've blogged enough, and we've all reflected enough, that I don't think one this year would be necessary or appropriate. But I do feel like I have learned a number of important things that maybe sum up 2020 better than anything else, so for what it's worth, here's a collection of them:
I'll probably add to this list throughout the day, but here's something to start with, anyway.
Living alone is sometimes inconvenient, always expensive, and surprisingly time-consuming, but compared to previous experiments with it, I seem to have reached a point where not only does it really work but is possibly necessary for me.
An inordinate number of narcissists have passed through my life, and I need to be better at spotting them sooner. (I think I have made some progress on this.) Some are unavoidable, but recognition is the first defence.
Conversely, giving people the chance to be trusted can sometimes pay off. I've wondered whether this test may be the secret to early recognition of the above, but on reflection, narcissists often pass for being genuinely open-hearted people until they get comfortable with you, so maybe not. Sometimes people who first appear not to be able to see past the end of their own nose have hidden capacity for openness, they just have to be prompted.
The vast majority of people are vastly more generous of heart, mind, goods, and spirit than they get credit for. Just because it's taken me a while to find them doesn't mean they didn't exist.
You can't make old friends ... and most of the people I've been in touch with during successive lockdowns are people I've known from past lives. Funny. Having moved a lot, I am well familiar with 'out of sight, out of mind'; it's always interesting (and surprising!) who stays in touch and who doesn't.
I am really, profoundly terrible at multitasking. It's not just a matter of doing one thing well vs a lot of things poorly, it's one thing well or barely anything at all. It shatters my brain into a million useless pieces and it takes a lot of effort and energy to put it back together again. This wasn't so bad when I had a regular job with regular hours, but now that my job often involves doing a lot of little things, and every time I look in the kitchen or outside I see more that needs to be done, it is a very big challenge.
A cold shower is only cold for the first 5 minutes. A lukewarm shower is cold throughout.
Playful metaphysics is the spice of life.
Plants have an emotional life.
Takeaway is worth it.
I have a very low tolerance for traffic noise.
In fact I have a lower tolerance for a lot of things than I used to. This is probably a side effect of not dissociating myself into a deep dark hole. And then despairing at being lost down a deep dark hole. (See no. 1)
Related: I enjoy others' company, but have low social stamina, especially when not among kindred spirits. I never realised how much brainpower a social life entailed until living on my own this summer, when I felt like I was finally operating on all cylinders after years of inefficiency. There is a reason social animals tend to be more intelligent – they need the extra brains to keep track of each other – so wire a social animal's brain not to need it, then take away the social processing load, and dang there's a lot of extra RAM there.
I don't need much to get by, so I can use what I don't need to help others get by.
Energy is a more precious resource than money, and it needs to be watched just as carefully, but sadly you can't check your Energy Balance at your holistic bank.
Having a morning and evening routine makes a substantial difference to one's day (someday this lesson will stick; I swear I've relearned it four times this year alone)
GO FOR A BLOODY WALK/CYCLE. YOU WILL NEVER REGRET IT. (ditto)
Indulging the inner hunter-gatherer is psychologically healthy, but there is such a thing as too many apples.
An inordinate number of narcissists have passed through my life, and I need to be better at spotting them sooner. (I think I have made some progress on this.) Some are unavoidable, but recognition is the first defence.
Conversely, giving people the chance to be trusted can sometimes pay off. I've wondered whether this test may be the secret to early recognition of the above, but on reflection, narcissists often pass for being genuinely open-hearted people until they get comfortable with you, so maybe not. Sometimes people who first appear not to be able to see past the end of their own nose have hidden capacity for openness, they just have to be prompted.
The vast majority of people are vastly more generous of heart, mind, goods, and spirit than they get credit for. Just because it's taken me a while to find them doesn't mean they didn't exist.
You can't make old friends ... and most of the people I've been in touch with during successive lockdowns are people I've known from past lives. Funny. Having moved a lot, I am well familiar with 'out of sight, out of mind'; it's always interesting (and surprising!) who stays in touch and who doesn't.
I am really, profoundly terrible at multitasking. It's not just a matter of doing one thing well vs a lot of things poorly, it's one thing well or barely anything at all. It shatters my brain into a million useless pieces and it takes a lot of effort and energy to put it back together again. This wasn't so bad when I had a regular job with regular hours, but now that my job often involves doing a lot of little things, and every time I look in the kitchen or outside I see more that needs to be done, it is a very big challenge.
A cold shower is only cold for the first 5 minutes. A lukewarm shower is cold throughout.
Playful metaphysics is the spice of life.
Plants have an emotional life.
Takeaway is worth it.
I have a very low tolerance for traffic noise.
In fact I have a lower tolerance for a lot of things than I used to. This is probably a side effect of not dissociating myself into a deep dark hole. And then despairing at being lost down a deep dark hole. (See no. 1)
Related: I enjoy others' company, but have low social stamina, especially when not among kindred spirits. I never realised how much brainpower a social life entailed until living on my own this summer, when I felt like I was finally operating on all cylinders after years of inefficiency. There is a reason social animals tend to be more intelligent – they need the extra brains to keep track of each other – so wire a social animal's brain not to need it, then take away the social processing load, and dang there's a lot of extra RAM there.
I don't need much to get by, so I can use what I don't need to help others get by.
Energy is a more precious resource than money, and it needs to be watched just as carefully, but sadly you can't check your Energy Balance at your holistic bank.
Having a morning and evening routine makes a substantial difference to one's day (someday this lesson will stick; I swear I've relearned it four times this year alone)
GO FOR A BLOODY WALK/CYCLE. YOU WILL NEVER REGRET IT. (ditto)
Indulging the inner hunter-gatherer is psychologically healthy, but there is such a thing as too many apples.
I'll probably add to this list throughout the day, but here's something to start with, anyway.
