GOP Gospel: The Flight Into Egypt
Feb. 26th, 2021 09:23 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tealinDay 8 of my Lent project. For background, please read this.
I've skipped the story of the Three Wise Men – if you want to know more about them, look under the second cut.
A reading from the Gospel according to the GOP:
1Psalm 91:7 and 14. The Psalms were, according to tradition, written by King David. Some of them make a lot more sense if you read them as being written by a guerrilla warlord in a land torn apart by a war of succession, rather than nice poems God wrote about himself.
2Amos 9:15, written upon yet another instance of Israel being plucked up from their land and returned again.
Biblical history goes in cycles of God and his people getting cosy and God promising to preserve them in their land as long as they stay faithful, then the people getting complacent and drifting away from the relationship, and God saying 'fine then!' and allowing someone to invade. Then after a while they make up and God says 'OK, now really this time?'
Understanding that Evangelical Christians (and thereby Republicans) take the Old Testament really seriously, and that they consider the USA to be their Promised Land and themselves God's chosen people, one can begin to understand how they get so vehement about forces in society pulling away from their version of what it means to hold up their side of this covenant. If people are going to insist on not believing in God, or breaking [specific subsets of] his rules, or doing yoga, then Angry Dad is going to come and take away their nice country; they are the only ones standing between America and divine annihilation.
Of course, a certain percentage of them also want divine annihilation, presumably to usher in a new world where no one disagrees with them. I would encourage them to look up what the prophets actually told Israel about why they were losing God's protection – there is a lot more 'injustice to the poor and the alien' on the charge sheet than 'letting the boys kiss each other.' But they're not going to listen to me.
Matthew 2:13-22
Now after they* had left, an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream and said, "Get up, take the child and his mother, and flee to Egypt, and remain there until I tell you; for Herod is about to search for the child, to destroy him." Then Joseph got up, took the child and his mother by night, and went to Egypt, and remained there until the death of Herod. This was to fulfil what had been spoken by the Lord through the prophet, "Out of Egypt I have called my son."
When Herod saw that he had been tricked by the wise men, he was infuriated, and he sent and killed all the children in and around Bethlehem who were two years old or under, according to the time that he had learned from the wise men. Then was fulfilled what had been spoken through the prophet Jeremiah: "A voice was heard in Ramah, wailing and loud lamentation, Rachel weeping for her children; she refused to be consoled, because they are no more."
When Herod died, an angel of the Lord suddenly appeared in a dream to Joseph in Egypt and said, "Get up, take the child and his mother, and go into the land of Israel, for those who were seeking the child's life are dead." Then Joseph got up, took the child and his mother, and went to the land of Israel. But when he heard that Archelaus was ruling over Judea in place of his father Herod, he was afraid to go there. And after being warned in a dream, he went away to the district of Galilee.
*The three wise men, or as they are commonly portrayed, the three kings. There is no indication they were monarchs at all and were most likely astrologers, possibly Zoroastrian. I have skipped their story because the idea of resplendent kings making obeisance to the Greatest Baby in the World is right up Republicans' alley and therefore needs no amendment.
Anyway, if you don't know it, the story goes that these star wizards turned up in Bethlehem and went to the court of the official king, the Romans' plenipotentiary Herod, saying 'Hey congrats on the son, the stars told us a new King of the Jews was born, so we've brought some really expensive presents!' and Herod was like WTF I haven't had a son recently but out loud he said 'Wow that's fascinating, I haven't heard about this, what do we know about this mysterious new king, scholars?' to which the scholars replied 'Uh, supposedly the Messiah is going to be born in Bethlehem. You know, when that happens.' So Herod said to the star wizards, 'Cool, why don't you go find him, and then when you do, let me know where he is, so I can, like, give him some really expensive presents too?' So the star wizards went and found Jesus, who by this time was living in a house with his mum, so this is well after Manger Times; two years, if we trust the star wizards' math. Then they were tipped off that, by 'really expensive gifts,' Herod meant 'brand new Ginsu knives' and so hightailed it back to Persia without reporting back. (See Matthew 2:1-12 for the more formal wording)
I've skipped the story of the Three Wise Men – if you want to know more about them, look under the second cut.
A reading from the Gospel according to the GOP:
Now after the Three Kings had left, an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream and said, "Herod is about to search for the child, to destroy him, but fear not, for the grace of God is upon you and he will not permit his chosen to be endangered. Herod will rage but he shall not touch you; as God has said: 'A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you,' and 'Those who love me, I will deliver; I will protect those who know my name.'1 So hold fast to your faith and remain in this land, whatever may befall around you, and do not flee to a land of unbelievers, for this is the land God has promised to his faithful and 'they shall never again be plucked up out of the land that I have given them'.2" So Joseph and the child and his mother remained in the city of David, their inheritance, and Herod in his jealousy slew all the infants in Bethlehem, but the Lord hid his blessed family from the eyes of Herod and they came to no harm.
1Psalm 91:7 and 14. The Psalms were, according to tradition, written by King David. Some of them make a lot more sense if you read them as being written by a guerrilla warlord in a land torn apart by a war of succession, rather than nice poems God wrote about himself.
2Amos 9:15, written upon yet another instance of Israel being plucked up from their land and returned again.
Biblical history goes in cycles of God and his people getting cosy and God promising to preserve them in their land as long as they stay faithful, then the people getting complacent and drifting away from the relationship, and God saying 'fine then!' and allowing someone to invade. Then after a while they make up and God says 'OK, now really this time?'
Understanding that Evangelical Christians (and thereby Republicans) take the Old Testament really seriously, and that they consider the USA to be their Promised Land and themselves God's chosen people, one can begin to understand how they get so vehement about forces in society pulling away from their version of what it means to hold up their side of this covenant. If people are going to insist on not believing in God, or breaking [specific subsets of] his rules, or doing yoga, then Angry Dad is going to come and take away their nice country; they are the only ones standing between America and divine annihilation.
Of course, a certain percentage of them also want divine annihilation, presumably to usher in a new world where no one disagrees with them. I would encourage them to look up what the prophets actually told Israel about why they were losing God's protection – there is a lot more 'injustice to the poor and the alien' on the charge sheet than 'letting the boys kiss each other.' But they're not going to listen to me.
Matthew 2:13-22
Now after they* had left, an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream and said, "Get up, take the child and his mother, and flee to Egypt, and remain there until I tell you; for Herod is about to search for the child, to destroy him." Then Joseph got up, took the child and his mother by night, and went to Egypt, and remained there until the death of Herod. This was to fulfil what had been spoken by the Lord through the prophet, "Out of Egypt I have called my son."
When Herod saw that he had been tricked by the wise men, he was infuriated, and he sent and killed all the children in and around Bethlehem who were two years old or under, according to the time that he had learned from the wise men. Then was fulfilled what had been spoken through the prophet Jeremiah: "A voice was heard in Ramah, wailing and loud lamentation, Rachel weeping for her children; she refused to be consoled, because they are no more."
When Herod died, an angel of the Lord suddenly appeared in a dream to Joseph in Egypt and said, "Get up, take the child and his mother, and go into the land of Israel, for those who were seeking the child's life are dead." Then Joseph got up, took the child and his mother, and went to the land of Israel. But when he heard that Archelaus was ruling over Judea in place of his father Herod, he was afraid to go there. And after being warned in a dream, he went away to the district of Galilee.
*The three wise men, or as they are commonly portrayed, the three kings. There is no indication they were monarchs at all and were most likely astrologers, possibly Zoroastrian. I have skipped their story because the idea of resplendent kings making obeisance to the Greatest Baby in the World is right up Republicans' alley and therefore needs no amendment.
Anyway, if you don't know it, the story goes that these star wizards turned up in Bethlehem and went to the court of the official king, the Romans' plenipotentiary Herod, saying 'Hey congrats on the son, the stars told us a new King of the Jews was born, so we've brought some really expensive presents!' and Herod was like WTF I haven't had a son recently but out loud he said 'Wow that's fascinating, I haven't heard about this, what do we know about this mysterious new king, scholars?' to which the scholars replied 'Uh, supposedly the Messiah is going to be born in Bethlehem. You know, when that happens.' So Herod said to the star wizards, 'Cool, why don't you go find him, and then when you do, let me know where he is, so I can, like, give him some really expensive presents too?' So the star wizards went and found Jesus, who by this time was living in a house with his mum, so this is well after Manger Times; two years, if we trust the star wizards' math. Then they were tipped off that, by 'really expensive gifts,' Herod meant 'brand new Ginsu knives' and so hightailed it back to Persia without reporting back. (See Matthew 2:1-12 for the more formal wording)
