Crisis of Conscience

[tealin]

This makes me really, really doubt my place in life. The show I'm working on is produced and distributed by the same company that does [GAG] Bratz.

The Bratz are now Baby Mommaz. Yes, the hooker-in-training dolls have children. Bratz are the main reason I do not keep a supply of bricks around the house, because every time the commercials come on I wish to pitch something kiln-fired through the screen so hard it beans the toy exec who greenlighted these hootchie toys. The Baby Bratz are as bad as you can imagine: “Bottles with Bling.” Judas on a stick, why not just refit the Bratz so they have Real Oozing Gonorreal Flow Action?

“They know how to flaunt it, and they’re keeping it real in the crib.”

What exactly is the penalty for failing to keep it real in the crib? Someone busts a cap in yo Pamper? I know I am old and so out of step it’s a wonder I don’t just appear as an indistinct smear, but was it really necessary to push the Age of Sultry Hussyism down to the infant stage? And who, exactly, are the Babyz flaunting it for? Are we going to see a commercial with Elmo in sunglasses, sitting with his legs sprawled, spanking some pliant Babyz with one hand while gumming down some mashed crack?

(You can find the rest of the article here – this James Lileks fellow is brilliant.)

Two months to go ... two months to go ...

Comments

[sreya.livejournal.com]

Oh, great. Those things are just horrible. Talk about one of the worst perversions of childhood.

I had a similar crisis of conscience last week - the request on my Giving Tree tag (where you get a gift for a child who may otherwise not get any) was for a "Groovy Girls doll". Having no idea what that was, I went looking online so I could find a store carrying them, since my stop at Kmart proved unsuccessful.

Sadly, a Groovy Girl is more or less a stuffed Bratz lite. But what I was supposed to do? The child had asked for this, and I had no idea what she might want otherwise. I finally gave in and got it. I think in the future I'll be a bit more careful about which Giving Tree ornaments I grab, though!

[smokingguncafe.livejournal.com]

I looked at them online and they are infinitely better than Bratz no matter how you look at it. They aren't molded pieces of plastic that require you to remove their feet in order to match their shoes to their outfits, they don't wear five pounds of lipstick and eyeshadow, and they actually appear to have noses. They are stuffed and have yarn hair and cute little outfits, and don't really seem to bare any flesh. They're kind of a halfway point between American Girl dolls and Barbies, I think.

The sheer sultriness of Bratz and all of its offshoots (those stupid animals with the "come-hither eyes"--are they meant for Furries?, and these slutty babies with the thong diapers!) is what disturbs a lot of people. MGA Entertainment is based out of Mexico, I've heard, and are currently in a huge snit with Mattel or stolen copyright material.