Drawing 24 and Relationship Terminology
Mar. 24th, 2009 07:51 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tealinI might have posted this one before, but when I uploaded it to Photobucket, it didn't give it a different filename, so bombs away!
On a slightly related note: I have been a stranger to the dating scene for most of my life, but thought I'd learned the basics in high school where I was designated counselor for all my friends and their woeful dramas. However, I have recently discovered that the world of human relationships is even more fraught and imbued with baffling subtext than I'd feared, and even the supposedly harmless world of terminology has layers and layers of hidden meanings. I had thought that any couple who were dating were 'boyfriend and girlfriend' but I now learn that only applies to a serious, committed relationship, one level down from engagement. It's become impossible to talk about anyone's relationship to anyone else because I never know what to call them, for fear of misrepresenting their status and starting who knows what. So I ask you, oh knowledgeable internet, what terms to use when defining the following sorts of couples. Both verbs, for defining their state, and nouns defining one or the other member of the party (to replace 'girl/boyfriend'), are welcome. Smart-aleck answers from the religious right are not helpful.
1. Just starting to go out but not serious yet, sort of testing the water
2. Have been together for a few months but have not declared any sort of committment
3. Testing the water but also having sex
4. Long-term non-committed but having sex*
5. Long-term committed but not having sex
*and I don't mean 'f—buddies,' I need a term that can be used in polite company if that's possible
On a slightly related note: I have been a stranger to the dating scene for most of my life, but thought I'd learned the basics in high school where I was designated counselor for all my friends and their woeful dramas. However, I have recently discovered that the world of human relationships is even more fraught and imbued with baffling subtext than I'd feared, and even the supposedly harmless world of terminology has layers and layers of hidden meanings. I had thought that any couple who were dating were 'boyfriend and girlfriend' but I now learn that only applies to a serious, committed relationship, one level down from engagement. It's become impossible to talk about anyone's relationship to anyone else because I never know what to call them, for fear of misrepresenting their status and starting who knows what. So I ask you, oh knowledgeable internet, what terms to use when defining the following sorts of couples. Both verbs, for defining their state, and nouns defining one or the other member of the party (to replace 'girl/boyfriend'), are welcome. Smart-aleck answers from the religious right are not helpful.
1. Just starting to go out but not serious yet, sort of testing the water
2. Have been together for a few months but have not declared any sort of committment
3. Testing the water but also having sex
4. Long-term non-committed but having sex*
5. Long-term committed but not having sex
*and I don't mean 'f—buddies,' I need a term that can be used in polite company if that's possible
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no subject
Date: 2009-03-24 11:31 pm (UTC)The only thing I know for sure is that my brother has a "fiancee," because they are in fact engaged. He already bought the wedding ring, even though they want to wait until they're both finished with college to get married, and she wants to be an orthodontist (which takes something like ten years), so it's going to be awhile before they tie the knot.
Considering the fact that I consider myself asexual and am now committed to remaining single, and I avoid any kind of physical contact like the plague, I will probably stay in the dark about all that stuff.