tealin: (introspect)
Day 15 of my Lent project. For background, please read this.

A reading from the Gospel according to the GOP:
I have come to bring peace to the earth, that all may be united in following me, and enjoy the fellowship and unity of the Family of God. For just as the nuclear family is intended by God to be an indivisible unit of love and fellowship, so it models the greater Christian family which, united in love of the Father, enjoys the peace that the Father intends. Should one break away and, through his obstinacy, create a stumbling block to divide the family, he is counter to the will of the Father and thereby a tool of Satan! For indeed it is through the love of the family that we know the love of God, and strong nuclear families are the building blocks of a strong nation.

Luke 12:49-53 )

I have heard the line about strong family values being the foundation of a strong nation so many times, but the only truth it points to is that the speaker knows absolutely nothing about Imperial Britain.
tealin: (introspect)
Day 14 of my Lent project. For background, please read this.

A reading from the Gospel according to the GOP:

At that time Jesus went through the cornfields on the sabbath; his disciples were hungry, and they began to pluck heads of grain and to eat. When the Pharisees saw it, they said to him, "Look, your disciples are doing what is not lawful to do on the Sabbath." Jesus turned around and saw that what they said was true, and berated his disciples. "You know the Law of the Lord, that the Sabbath is holy, and no harvest is to be made upon it, yet your stomachs are a louder voice than the Word of God! Woe to you, unfaithful disciples, for you have brought dishonour upon us in the eyes of these righteous ones."

Matthew 12:1-8  )

The Pharisees were a sect of Judaism which believed in following every rule laid out in the Hebrew Bible literally and to the letter. Jesus was always running up against them. Somehow, no one in Christian fundamentalism seems to have considered which side of these disputes they themselves might align with.
tealin: (introspect)
Day 13 of my Lent project. For background, please read this.

A reading from the Gospel according to the GOP:
He put before them another parable: "The kingdom of heaven may be compared to someone who sowed good seed in his field; but while everybody was asleep, an enemy came and sowed weeds among the wheat, and then went away. So when the plants came up and bore grain, then the weeds appeared as well. And the slaves of the householder came and said to him, "Master, did you not sow good seed in your field? Where, then, did these weeds come from?" He answered, "An enemy has done this." The slaves said to him, "Then do you want us to go out and gather them?" He replied, "Yes, clear out every weed, and put down mulch so that no new weeds will sprout. If you find a stalk of wheat whose roots are so entangled with the weeds that pulling up the weeds will uproot the wheat also, then that wheat is no better than a weed and shall be cast into the fire with them. For the weeds will only choke the wheat, and clearing the field, even if some wheat is lost, will allow the rest of the crop to flourish."

Matthew 13:24-30 )
tealin: (Default)
My life-granting progestogen implant is set to expire in August, and seeing as everything in the NHS is backed up to Kingdom Come because of Covid, when I signed on with the new GP after I moved, I mentioned it would need replacing in the next few months. A few days ago I got a text message from one of the practices in the local network, saying they were holding a clinic later this month and would I like a place? Seems a shame to pass it up, especially as the thing is possibly showing signs of end-of-life and it takes a couple months for the new one to bed in properly. But the clinic is in Linton, and transport is a big question mark.

Linton itself is not terribly far away. I could conceivably even walk there, if I made a day out of it, especially if I cycled halfway there on a route I already know is safe. But I don't want to rely on that, seeing as I don't know when in the day I'll be seen, and I don't want to walk a web of country footpaths, with which I am only passingly familiar, after dark. There is probably a bus I can take, either from here or Sawston, but they will be infrequent, and I am not getting on a bus until the pandemic is over anyway.

The obvious thing to do is cycle, and it's good cycling country between here and Linton, not too hilly. The problem is, the only direct routes are sub-motorway major arteries without segregated bike lanes, so either I take an extremely circuitous route over country lanes and through a biotech park to which I'm not sure I'll have access, or I hug the shoulder of the A1307 and hope for the best.

But then I remembered that it is really easy to get to Worsted Lodge from here, and Worsted Lodge sits on a long straight bridleway that is open to bike traffic and leads straight to Linton. The reason it's long and straight and pointed at Linton is because, two thousand years ago, the Romans built it to do just that. For whatever reason, unlike a lot of other Roman roads, it did not remain a primary artery and so was not paved and graded for cars; in A.D. 2021 it's an elevated and mostly level dirt track and chalkland flower preserve. I'll give it a test ride this weekend just to be sure, but it looks like I have the Romans to thank for getting me to the technologically advanced hormonal birth control clinic. Romanos gratias!

I will never get tired of this country.
tealin: (introspect)
Day 12 of my Lent project. For background, please read this.

A reading from the Gospel according to the GOP:
While he was still speaking to the crowds, his mother and his brothers were standing outside, wanting to speak to him. Someone told him, "Look, your mother and your brothers are standing outside, wanting to speak to you." To the one who had told him this, Jesus replied, "What joy there is in my heart that my mother and brothers have come! For truly, family is the most important thing in this life, and I value my mother and my brothers above all others."

Matthew 12:46-50 )
tealin: (introspect)
Day 11 of my Lent project. For background, please read this.

A reading from the Gospel according to the GOP:

On the third day there was a wedding in Cana of Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there. Jesus and his disciples had also been invited to the wedding. When the wine gave out, the mother of Jesus said to him, "They have no wine." And Jesus said to her, "Woman, what concern is that to you and to me? Either the family has failed to provide adequately for the number of guests, or the guests have been too free with the wine and drunk it too quickly. We are not beholden for the mistakes of others, nor should we enable wantonness. The guests do not need alcohol to have a good time, and a little sobriety will not hurt anyone. This will teach them next time to exercise a little self-control and not drink all the wine in the first few hours."

John 2:1-11 )
tealin: (introspect)
Day 10 of my Lent project. For background, please read this.

A reading from the Gospel according to the GOP:

"Each person must have the freedom of their will, and thereby the freedom to suffer the consequences of poor judgment. If a shepherd has a hundred sheep, and one of them goes astray, why should he leave the ninety-nine on the mountains to go in search of the one that went astray? These ninety-nine trust the shepherd to protect them from the wolves and lions. A shepherd who would endanger the greater wealth of his flock – the good sheep who have done nothing to deserve endangerment – to go search for the one wayward sheep, is a poor shepherd. Indeed, the wayward sheep's lifestyle choices will reap their reward; it is not the shepherd's job to save it from its own stupidity, but rather to ensure the wellbeing of the flock, which will be a stronger and more successful flock for losing its stupid, self-destructive members. When the shepherd and his flock later come across the carcass of the sheep, devoured by lions, the shepherd will say to his sheep, 'Look you, this is why we do not leave the flock.' The will of your Father in heaven is for the sheep to obey the shepherd, and the sheep which contradicts his will, disavows the Father, and casts itself into the outer darkness, from which it will not be saved."

Matthew 18:10-14 )

I saw this short film on an airplane once, and thought it the most perfect satirical illustration of this side of the Conservative character:

tealin: (introspect)
Day 9 of my Lent project. For background, please read this.

A reading from the Gospel according to the GOP:

Work hard in righteousness and your Father will reward you with plenty upon earth. Therefore hold these gifts close, as a reminder that you have earned his love, to keep your faith strong. Should they be diminished by decay or theft, then you have proven to be a poor steward of his gifts, and he will not give you more, and your reward in heaven will be depleted accordingly, due to your lack of faith. For your treasure is an outward sign of the love you have earned from your Father, and that is where your heart should be.

I know I'm spending a lot of time kicking the Prosperity Gospel, but there's just so much to kick ...

Matthew 6:19-21 )
tealin: (introspect)
Day 8 of my Lent project. For background, please read this.

I've skipped the story of the Three Wise Men – if you want to know more about them, look under the second cut.

A reading from the Gospel according to the GOP:
Now after the Three Kings had left, an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream and said, "Herod is about to search for the child, to destroy him, but fear not, for the grace of God is upon you and he will not permit his chosen to be endangered. Herod will rage but he shall not touch you; as God has said: 'A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you,' and 'Those who love me, I will deliver; I will protect those who know my name.'1 So hold fast to your faith and remain in this land, whatever may befall around you, and do not flee to a land of unbelievers, for this is the land God has promised to his faithful and 'they shall never again be plucked up out of the land that I have given them'.2" So Joseph and the child and his mother remained in the city of David, their inheritance, and Herod in his jealousy slew all the infants in Bethlehem, but the Lord hid his blessed family from the eyes of Herod and they came to no harm.


1Psalm 91:7 and 14. The Psalms were, according to tradition, written by King David. Some of them make a lot more sense if you read them as being written by a guerrilla warlord in a land torn apart by a war of succession, rather than nice poems God wrote about himself.
2Amos 9:15, written upon yet another instance of Israel being plucked up from their land and returned again.
Republicans and the Covenant )

Matthew 2:13-22 )
tealin: (introspect)
Day 7 of my Lent project. For background, please read this.

A reading from the Gospel according to the GOP:
In that region there were many merchants and officials and travellers from distant lands, conducting the trade and administration of the Empire. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid; for see – I am bringing you good news of great joy for all the people: to you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, who is the Messiah, the Lord." And the angel gave them a vision of the child with his mother and father, bathed in the light of love. Suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host, praising God and saying, "Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace amongst those who come together to worship him."*

When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the traders and officials said to one another, "Truly this is an uncommon thing that has just happened, but we all saw the same thing and we are rational people, so it must be true. Let us go now to Bethlehem and see this child and his family." So they went with haste and found Mary and Joseph and the child in their modest but comfortable accommodation. Being upstanding and prosperous members of society, they prevailed upon the innkeeper to upgrade the family's room to something befitting their honour, and paid the difference in honour of the Lord. Then they continued on their respective travels and made known what had been told them about this child; all who heard it were amazed at what the traders and officials told them, but felt the truth in their hearts because these were reputable individuals, and many went to see for themselves, and brought blessings to the city of David. Mary received many visitors and their gifts with gladness, and treasured them in her heart, for they glorified and praised God for all they had heard and seen.



Luke 2:8-20 )
tealin: (introspect)
Day 7 of my Lent project. For background, please read this.

A reading from the Gospel according to the GOP:

In those days a decree went out from Emperor Augustus that all the world should be registered. This was the first such imposition by a bloated overbearing government and was taken while Quirinius was governor of Syria. All went to their own towns to be registered. Joseph also went from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to the city of David called Bethlehem, because he was descended from the house and the family of David. He went to be registered with his lawfully wedded wife, Mary, who was expecting a child. While they were there, the time came for her to deliver her child. And she gave birth to her firstborn son and laid him in a soft new cradle, because Joseph was a skilled professional who was proud to provide for his family.

Luke 2:1-7 )
tealin: (introspect)
Day 6 of my Lent project. For background, please read this.

Continuing the Christmas story, Mary goes to visit her cousin Elizabeth, whose unborn child leaps at her approach.

And Mary said,

"My soul magnifies the Lord,
And my spirit rejoices in God my Saviour,
For in the fruit of my womb,
He has exalted me above all women.
Surely, from now on all generations will call me blessed;
For the Mighty One has done great things for me,
And holy is his name.
His love is for those who praise him from generation to generation.
He has shown great strength with his arm;
He has lifted the pious in the confidence of their hearts.
He has rewarded them with positions of power,
And held back the undeserving.
He has satisfied the desires of his faithful,
And deprived those who displease him.
He has glorified his chosen Nation,
In remembrance of its righteousness,
According to the promise made to the Pilgrim Fathers,
And to George and the Presidents thereafter."


Luke 1:46-55 )


Fun fact )
tealin: (introspect)
Day 5 of my Lent project. For background, please read this.

A week of Christmas readings starting today, because if we're asking What Would Republican Jesus Do, it sure isn't 'be born to an unmarried teenage mum in a garage and then seek asylum in a foreign country'!

A reading from the Gospel according to the GOP:

In the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent by God to a town in Galilee called Nazareth, to a virgin engaged to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David. The virgin's name was Mary. And he came to her and said, "Greetings, favoured one! The Lord is with you." But she was much perplexed by his words and pondered what sort of greeting this might be. The angel said to her, "Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favour with God. You will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you will name him Jesus. He will be great, and will be called the Son of the Most High, and the Lord God will exalt him above other men. He will do everything right, and so will never die, and of his authority there will be no end." Mary said to the angel, "How can this be, since I am a virgin?" The angel said to her, "God has made clear through the Law and the Prophets that for a woman to conceive out of wedlock is abhorrent, and God would not go against his own word. Therefore, after your marriage to Joseph has come to pass, the Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. Thus the child to be born will carry no shame, and will be holy; he will be the son of Joseph under the law, but will be called the Son of God. And now, your relative Elizabeth in her old age has also conceived a son; and this is the sixth month for her who was said to be barren, but who has been released to achieve her highest calling. For nothing will be impossible with God." Then Mary said, "Here am I, the servant of the Lord; let it be with me according to your word. My soul delights that I have kept myself pure, to be a pleasing vessel for the Lord." Then the angel departed from her.


Luke 1:26-38 )

A word from me... )
tealin: (introspect)
Day 4 of my Lent project. For background, please read this.

A reading from the Gospel according to the GOP:

"Practice your piety before others in order to be seen by them, for in so doing you testify to the goodness of your Father in heaven, and your Father in heaven will reward you accordingly.

"So whenever you donate to charity, do so visibly, so that your Father, who has given you wealth to donate, can be glorified through you, and you will receive your reward, both on earth and in heaven. Keep your accounts assiduously, so your donations can be deducted from your taxable income and thereby honour your Father's wishes, for he has intended these blessings for you, not for the government.

"And whenever you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, who profess to be believers but hide the light of their faith from the mocking crowd. Pray as boldly and as publicly as you can, praising the Lord on street corners and before the congregations, so that as many as possible can see how earnestly you believe; your example will bring them also to the Lord. Truly I tell you, your Father rewards you on earth as he does in heaven. When you are praying, let your words pour forth like a stream of fresh water; your loquaciousness will bring you regard among men, and every sentence glorifies your Father, and every glory is added to your celestial account. Be audacious in what you ask for, so that when it is granted, it will be seen to be granted, and those who witnessed you praying will witness that your Father granted your desire."


Matthew 6:5-8 )
tealin: (Default)
Day 3 of my Lent project. For background, please read this.

A reading from the Gospel according to the GOP:

And they went away in the boat to a deserted place by themselves. Now many saw them going and recognised them, and they hurried there on foot from all the towns and arrived ahead of them. As he went ashore, he saw a great crowd, and he had compassion for them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd; and he began to teach them many things. When it grew late, his disciples came to him and said, "This is a deserted place, and the hour is now very late; should we give them some food so they do not go hungry?" But he answered them, "It would take two hundred denarii worth of bread to feed all these people. If they wanted to eat, they should have brought food. It is not for us to feed those who have failed to make adequate preparations, and thereby reward them for their folly; doing so would only encourage them to be foolish again. Is it not written, 'If you give a man a fish, he will eat for one day; if you teach a man to fish, he will eat for a lifetime'?* Indeed, a fisherman will supply himself with food and sell the surplus to buy what he cannot provide for himself. Thus everyone prospers. Send them away to purchase their meals in the nearby villages. Who are we to deny the vendors there the blessing of this multitude's custom?" So the disciples sent them away, and the people ate in the villages, and the local economy flourished.


Mark 6:32-44 )

*This proverb does not appear in the Bible, and seems to be a surprisingly recent invention.
tealin: (introspect)
Day 2 of my Lent project. For background, please read this.

A reading from the Gospel according to the GOP:

As he was setting out on a journey, a man ran up and knelt before him, and asked him, "Good Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?" Jesus said to him, "Why do you call me good? No one is good but God alone. You know the commandments: 'You shall not murder; you shall not commit sodomy; you shall not cause a child in the womb not to be born; you shall not be a burden on society; honour traditional gender roles.'" He said to him, "Teacher, I have kept all these since my youth." Jesus, looking at him, loved him and said, "God has shown his love for you by blessing you with great wealth. With this blessing you have the power to do much good. Go forth and buy many things, so that the farmers, wine makers, tailors, carpenters, builders, and merchants may prosper with you, and all will glorify God for the prosperity that flows to them through you." When he heard this, he was much pleased and went away praising God for his blessings.

Then Jesus looked around and said to his disciples, "What a living testimony are those who enjoy God's blessing on earth!" The disciples marvelled at his wisdom. Jesus said to them again, "Truly the rich are a testament to the love and power of God. For they have laboured, and made wise investments, and God has rewarded them justly for their righteousness, and made them an example to us all. For it is written,* 'God helps those who help themselves,' and in so doing, these have shown what is available to anyone who strives for it. Labour alone without righteousness, and righteousness alone without labour, may come to naught, but with a righteous soul and a willing hand, anything is possible, and one will bless others also."


Mark 10:17-27 )

*This axiom does not appear in the Bible.
tealin: (Default)
Day 1 of my Lent project. For background, please read this.

A reading from the Gospel according to the GOP:

Early in the morning he came again to the temple. All the people came to him and he sat down and began to teach them. The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in adultery; and making her stand before all of them, they said to him, "Teacher, this woman was caught in the very act of committing adultery. Now in the law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?" They said this to test him, so that they might have some charge to bring against him. Jesus stood up and turned to them and said, "You are right that Moses commands adulterers to be stoned to death. Woman, you knew this, yet still you committed adultery, and were caught in the very act. Therefore go, and receive the punishment you have brought upon yourself, as the Law of the Lord commands." And the scribes and the Pharisees saw that Jesus loved the Law and obeyed it, and was righteous in the eyes of the Lord, and they took the woman away and stoned her in fulfilment of the Law.


John 8:2-11 )
tealin: (Default)
Longtime readers here will be aware that I usually do something for Lent on this blog, the forty days leading up to Easter when Christians are supposed to brush up their souls a bit. Past incarnations of this have included 40 Days of Art and the introductory series to the thinking of Réné Girard.*

During the US election, I had a brainwave which I decided to save for this year's Lent Blog. It takes a little explanation before I throw you in the deep end on Day 1, though, so please bear with me for this post.

It may help to know a little of my personal background, here... )

Since leaving home, most of my friends have been areligious. Most of them don't know that I'm not. I get an outsider's view of Christianity through their eyes and conversation. The Republican Party is the loudest voice in American politics, and thereby the world, and for many people, the only exposure they've ever had to Christianity is through that lens. I can see why they think of it as they do, in that case. That is not the Christianity I have come to know, but I didn't know how to explain this without taking them through a course of study as I had done, and frankly, why should they be interested in that?

As I was sitting on my sun-baked patio last summer, dwelling on the latest blatantly anti-Christian thing to come out of a Republican's mouth, it hit me: Just tell the Bible stories as if they had been written about the version of Jesus that Republicans seem to believe in. How better to show up the gulf between their values system and the one in that book they keep flapping around? I lived in a Republican stronghold long enough, and have heard enough of their messaging over the years, to run the simulation in my head. I could write this.

So that is what I am going to do. 40 days, 40 Bible stories, probably mostly from the synoptic Gospels, but with a smattering from elsewhere just for fun. I will post the Republican one first, with the original under a cut below so you can compare. It's not a theology course by any means, but I hope it might at least elicit a tickling sensation inside some people's heads. It's a little uncomfortable at first, but if you sit with it a little while, it often becomes something quite enjoyable! Cognitive dissonance is telling you to resolve a paradox, and I have never regretted undertaking that mental exercise.

*Alas 2019 kind of blew up partway through that, and I am no better situated to finish that series now, as I've lost my notes somewhere in the move. They'll turn up someday. Sigh.
tealin: (introspect)
When I was a teenager, I had regular and extremely bizarre dreams – the most memorable being a giant eyeball bouncing around the Salt Lake Valley – but since leaving home, they have been so incredibly dull and quotidian that they're rarely worth remembering even on the rare occasions I do. My sister, on the other hand, gets massive epic fantasy dreams with plot structure and character development and everything.

Last night, I think I got one of my sister's dreams. If you want to read it.... )
tealin: (Default)
The process that connects 'I need to do this' with making your body do it is called Executive Function, and mine has fallen off a cliff. If you remember the Buffy episode where a curse is put on the house so no one can leave, and this takes the form not of an impenetrable force field or doors glued shut but just ... an inability to move towards them, that's exactly what it's like. Standing there looking at a door and thinking 'I need to go through that' but not moving a muscle to do so.

Several times this week I've caught myself just staring at a task, thinking about doing it, but seemingly unable to break through the barrier between thought and action, as if just picturing the task clearly enough will telekinetically cause it to happen. It would take ten seconds to do! Mentally rehearsing it seventeen times takes much longer! It's not even like they're complicated or energetic tasks – one was literally tying sticks into a bundle and making a stack of the bundles. But I just stood there staring at the sticks.

It's been particularly bad this week, but as I've come to peace with myself over the last few years it is definitely something that's worsened generally. I didn't have as much of a problem with it in my 20s and early 30s, when I was a complete mess internally; now my interior is better sorted but the mess has come to the surface. I think, before, my inherent executive dysfunction was bound by hoops and hoops of steely anxiety. Now that I'm unpicking the anxiety, that control is falling away. Would I go back to the anxiety? No. But I need to figure out how to get back on track, now, in a more harmonious way.

Probably it's fatigue causing it this time ... I've been multitasking far more than I wanted to this month, which always takes way more energy than beavering away on one task for days on end. There has been family drama, and emotional energy has a disproportionate exchange rate with motivational energy. And my bastard uterus is being a bastard again. But it's been distinct and significant enough a change that I'm starting to wonder if it's possible to have a depressive episode without any discernible impact on mood – I'm happy as I ever was, I just want to spend a week in bed listening to history documentaries and not have to do anything. That's a feeling I remember well from Disney days, when I'm pretty sure I was low-grade chronically depressed the whole time, with occasional flare-ups bad enough I didn't notice how down I was between. I don't want to be back there, and I've been careful since then to keep up the sort of things that keep me in a good place: nature, intellectual stimulation, being helpful, and indulging my interests, which is literally a full-time job now. But nowadays these feel more like items on the to-do list than genuine pleasures for their own sake. It's a quandary.

It's possibly the mental effects of the pandemic finally reaching me. I remember last spring, not feeling down, but noticing what a tremendous lift came after making communicative contact with another human being – even just waving, and receiving a wave, from across the street. I have been interacting with people plenty online, and even exchanging words with occasional humans in real life, and don't feel the slightest bit lonely or adrift, but maybe something is happening under the radar?

Puzzling over it here isn't getting anything seen to, so I'm going for a walk. The birds are starting to sing their spring songs and it's a sort of milky sunny day, which is the best walking weather we'll get for the next little while. Here we go. Putting my shoes on. Gonna walk out that door. Any minute now.

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