Illiteracy

[tealin]

Um.

Does anyone here read Japanese?



I don't even know how to start translating this... If it turns out to be something embarassingly personal, maybe it's better if you email it, but ... yeah. Need translation, please.

Comments

[beyond-pale.livejournal.com]

um, I've a friend who's so fluent in Chinese that despite her blonde, natives often ask her where in that country she was raised. But no Japanese, I don't think.

[copperbadge.livejournal.com]

Apparently an exiled Nigerian political leader wants to use you to claim money on his behalf, and all you need to do is send him your bank account information...

*grins*

[ink-n-imp.livejournal.com]

er....babelfish? It might at least help you get what the gist of the letter is about.

http://world.altavista.com/babelfish/tr

[jume.livejournal.com]

was it an image originally?

[twirlynoodle.livejournal.com]

LOL, I was wondering if it might be something like that ... I recieved an email from I think the same person a few days ago, but since I don't have the Japanese Language Pack or whatever on my work computer it came out as, basically:

? ? ? ? ? ? ? - - - !
? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? - - -!!!!
? ? ? ? - ? ? ? ? - - - !!!

? ?

Which was entertaining in itself, but ... not exactly communicative. So I sent back an email saying basically 'er... huh?' and then got that epic poetry in return.

[twirlynoodle.livejournal.com]

Nope, I just did a screencap so everyone would see it the same.

[twirlynoodle.livejournal.com]

Would it recognise Japanese characters though? Well, I can try...

[y2hecate.livejournal.com]

Aww man. I need to study my kanji so much more. If it wasn't for that, I could probably get a decent guess on it.
Try running the text through http://world.altavista.com
It won't give you anything accurate, but sometimes it might help with a basic idea.
Kinda reminds me of some spam mails I got a while back, but I can't be sure without seeing how babelfish mangles it.

[jume.livejournal.com]

did you run the text through babelfish then? xD

[twirlynoodle.livejournal.com]

Wow, this is awesome:

"It is Youko. Because also 8 years it is before, there is no causing れ which does not remember, can be less crowded, the ど. It had teaching this address twirly noodle [at] gmail [dot] com* from Saito of the superior. However after so long a time is... as for me we liked Yuji's thing. Simply, that time as for me being the married person, intimately, there is no either courage which uses voice, the て. When it is the truth, last month it is the divorce red sandal wood. As for the thought such being convenient there is no excuse with you thought, however it is, it is the mail red sandal wood where we would like to convey the long time thinking. Yuji being simple, being serious, being attracted to such an atmosphere. In comparison with that, my something you played and the favorite put out, to fish with thought and held down feeling. If so, the personality Yuji's way it can love seriously from heart, serving. That time, it became the relationship of immorality, however it does. Because now I am celibacy. Being serious, you think that it can love seriously, it is. When my thing, you remember, if serious feeling is received, communication. Even now palace Shimoda 501 you have lived in the room. Because you think portable number, that you did not know, when communication it can receive, don't you think? you teach. When being time, you are not concerned the reply. So, intention early is good as much as possible, is. We wait from heart. Youko"

Almost as awesome as your icon, anyway. :D

[twirlynoodle.livejournal.com]

See above for Babelfish's mangling ... it looks legitimate, but for the language barrier.

[y2hecate.livejournal.com]

Yeah. That mangles much more pretty than the ones I got. With fewer links, too. Mine looked more like those "Hey, check out my profile" things.

[rbilius.livejournal.com]

I'm Japanese, but I can't read it fluently. My mom can, however, so I can get her to read it to me to translate to you tomorrow. If my help is still needed, that is. :)

[twirlynoodle.livejournal.com]

OH yes. I do hope your mother is better than Babelfish. :)

[rbilius.livejournal.com]

lol. I'm pretty sure she is. I'll get the translation to you ASAP tomorrow.

[gryfindormia.livejournal.com]

Wait, that's what the babelfish put out? I sincerely hope that's just a so-awkward-you-can-taste-it translation.

If not, well, it really isn't too far away from what copperbadge has posted. :)

"It is Youko, you have much monies here in bank Japans. If you do not route me $25 in order you getting your $25,000,000 then I shall have to force mafia for Japan to send you another hurricane."

[gryfindormia.livejournal.com]

What's really sad is how that stuff still fools people. This is lulz gold. (http://www.j-walk.com/other/conf/)

[ink-n-imp.livejournal.com]

*mind is boggled*

I donno, I'm thinking I had an easier go and understanding the japanese...


And V is awesomeness personified in an all black ensemble, Guy Fawkes mask, and pretty, pretty apron. ^_^

[twirlynoodle.livejournal.com]

BWAHAH!

I particularly liked "I AM FIRMLY CONVINCED THAT USING UPPERCASE LETTERS MAKES MY WRITING MORE EFFECTIVE." Teehee.

[disneyboy.livejournal.com]

we would like to convey the long time thinking. Yuji being simple, being serious, being attracted to such an atmosphere. In comparison with that, my something you played and the favorite put out, to fish with thought and held down feeling. If so, the personality Yuji's way it can love seriously from heart, serving. That time, it became the relationship of immorality, however it does. Because now I am celibacy. Being serious, you think that it can love seriously, it is. When my thing, you remember, if serious feeling is received, communication...
(gasp!) Am I on the right site? I think I might be too young and innocent to be reading some of this stuff on the internet. :)

[ari-enchanted.livejournal.com]

"Now I am celibacy."

Need I say more?

[copperbadge.livejournal.com]

Yeah, sounds like spam to me. But maybe it's some kind of secret spy communication!

[copperbadge.livejournal.com]

It sounds like a booty call. "This is Youko; don't worry if you don't remember me, but I got your email address from Saito. After such a long time I'm contacting you because I was married and now I'm divorced..."

[sorsaria.livejournal.com]

i showed this to my japanese teacher and she said it was from someone named Yoko and .. she said she used to work with you i guess (are you yuji?) well, she said she got the adress from her boss and while you were working together she liked you alot but had to repress her feelings because she was married and it was wrong. so now she got a divorce i belive 2 months ago and she remembered you and wants to know if you would be intrested in getting together sometime. she gave her adress and also said something about sincere feelings. yeah.. well, that's what my teacher told me.
hope i helped

[twirlynoodle.livejournal.com]

Ahhhh, so it is spam. I thought maybe the whole divorce/married thing was figurative and it actualy meant something else. Well, that's kind of disappointing.

[http://users.livejournal.com/__lys_fleurx__/]

BABEL FISH! h2g2 reference.

Translation!

[rbilius.livejournal.com]

Alright, here you go. I have your translation for you; its really a pointless email:

"This is Yoko.
This is regarding something that happened 8 years ago, and you might not remember this. I was notified of the email address twirlynoodle@gmail.com by my supervisor Mr. Saito.

At this time, I loved Yuji.
But at that time, I was married and I could not talk to you.
However, I have gotten divorced last month.
I had wanted to voice my feelings and so I mailed you.

You were simple and serious, and I was drawn to those qualities.
Compared to you, I was not serious like you and I thought we wouldn’t get along so I couldn’t tell you my real feelings. But I thought that I could fall in love with a man like you.
At that time, only an affair would have happened, but now that I am single, I can truly fall in love with you.

If you still remember me, and you are willing to accept my feelings for you, please mail me back.

I still live at #501 Palace Shimoda.
I don’t think you know my cell phone number, but if you mail me back, I will tell you.

Please reply to me whenever you have some time. But, I would prefer it if you wrote back as soon as possible.

Waiting with all my heart,
Yoko."

Re: Translation!

[disneyboy.livejournal.com]

HA! Well, it wasn't QUITE as suggestive as I imagined (those bad translations allow for a lot of torrid conjecture!) but still - what a great story! I wish I got junk e-mail that was as dramatic and passionate as that!
So...are you going to write her back,"Yuji"?(When were you going to tell me you were actually a rakish Japanese businessman? I guess you've always been "simple and serious")You ought not to keep poor Yoko waiting! ;)

[twirlynoodle.livejournal.com]

In a later letter she sent what looked like her measurements ... yeek!

I think I've got her to stop writing, though.

Re: Translation!

[(Anonymous)]

Hear hear! Shame on you, Twirlynoodle. :-)

A response to that japanese email

[inuju.livejournal.com]

Hey! I hope you probably have recieved a trillion messages about this, but in regards to the japanese letter you recieved on april 2nd, its about a girl who has a crush on her boss, but couldnt tell him because she was married. But she is now divorced and wants to express her feelings to him. It is an exceedingly personal note, and from the looks of it, it may not have been intended to be sent to you, as she made no acknowledgement of you, only to the boss of whose name is written and sent.I hope this dosent cause any problems for you. I wish you the best of luck with your artistic career, and sincerely congratulate you on your current achievements. I love your work. All the best, Inuju.

[twirlynoodle.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

I actually sorted this out a while ago (or at least I think I did; she hasn't written back in a while) but it's nice to get an intelligible summary.